I understand that this is a controversial topic, but listen, pineapple just doesn't belong on pizza. Simple as that.
Lately on my Twitter timeline, there has been this huge argument about pizza toppings, specifically, the pineapple. I started seeing it when @GeeksOfColor on Twitter created a poll and then voiced their distaste for pineapple on pizza. I naturally agreed because what are you doing with pineapple on your pizza, but when I saw the end results of the poll, the world seemed a lot more divided than I expected.
On pizza, Wikipedia states: "It is commonly topped with a selection of meats, vegetables and condiments." Is pineapple considered a meat, vegetable, or condiment? No.
If you want pineapple on a pizza, order a a fruit pizza. Fruit pizza is a sugar cookie crust with a cream cheese "sauce." Common toppings for fruit pizza include strawberries, peaches, kiwis, blueberries, and pineapples.
WHY ARE YOU SPOILING YOUR GROUP'S PIZZA WITH YOUR PINEAPPLE WHEN FRUIT PIZZA IS WAITING FOR YOU? You might say fruit pizza isn't available one dial away, but you can literally go to the nearby grocery store and purchase the Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, cream cheese, sugar, and all of the pineapple you want.
Next, let's talk about how pineapple on pizza got popular. For the longest time, I wondered why Hawaii would ever attack pizza the way they did. Who hurt you, Hawaii? Turns out pizza never hurt Hawaii.
This is all the work of our neighbors to the north. This was Canada's doing.
A Greek-Canadian man by the name of Sam Panopoulos created this pizza simply because he desired more toppings rather than mushrooms and meats. Listen, before you agree with his argument that you should be able to put just about anything on the pizza, he attempted to make a different pizza popular and it was called the Spanish Pizza.
The pizza had a biscuit mix crust, Vienna sausage, and yellow rice. Rice on pizza? The grain is already there. The rice should've been the big red flag about Sam but we let him continue to create weird pizza toppings anyways.
I get that Hawaiian pizza is popularized because it has ham, but to those of you getting just pineapple - what is wrong with you? Pizza is a savory dish that never needed your sweet spin. If you want a sweet spin, get yourself a slice of fruit pizza or order a lava cake at Domino's.
Just please don't ask me if half the pizza can have pineapple. The answer is an always will be no.