President Trump Clogs Oval Office Toilet And Blames Obama Administration
FakeU |  Source: L. Smith, Shutterstock

President Trump Clogs Oval Office Toilet And Blames Obama Administration

"In order to clog 'Derriere Force 1,' he must have really drained the swamp into that mother."

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In a tweet posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, July 18th, the president revealed to the public that in the night, after too many of Trump Tower's taco bowls, the Presidential Porcelain had become clogged.


When questioned about the digestive health of the president, press secretary Sean Spicer said:

"We are all very confident that the President has a healthy digestive system, and that his dumps are considered to be great. We have some of the best gastroenterologists, and the scientific community in general I think would say the same. Any insinuation that the president does not maintain above par regularity in the bathroom is frankly unfounded, and is just another partisan attack on this administration."

Spicer was questioned about whether or not he has actually talked to the president about the consistency of his dumps, to which he replied, "I have not yet had the chance to discuss that with the president."

As the story broke, several experts in the field put out their comment on the explosive story, one plumber saying, "In order to clog 'Derriere Force 1,' he must have really drained the swamp into that mother."

The press was quick to dig deeper into the story, asking administration officials and spokespeople if they believe that the Russian dressing on his salad was involved in the volatile nature of the president's stomach, and therefore his bowel movement.

When contacted, almost all sources vehemently denied any knowledge of said dressing being in the President's salad.

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FakeU |  Source: N. Leeper, Shutterstock

Trump Blocks The Media Again, Shocker

It's okay Trump, lose the trust of the people.

The White House has been blocking the media out of their press briefings, again. Recently, they have not allowed cameras or audio during the briefings. Now, presidents have done this in the past, but not to the same extent as the Trump administration.

The move by the White House has consequences for the people of America. It causes the people to lose trust in the President. If he does not allow information to be rallied easily to the people, we will wonder: is he hiding something?

Yes, yes he is.

The banning of cameras and audio is also happening in the State Department and the Pentagon.

Trump is literally trying to distance himself from the people who got him elected. He has his hesitations with the media, but this is just ridiculous. His moves to block out the public will hurt his influence on the public.

Now, the White House believes that the changes will help the administration maintain control. They want to ensure the actual message is being communicated to the people, rather than false facts.

Possibly, put one way or another, the truth is going to be stretched. The administration needs to accept the fact that they cannot control the media. That would be censorship; something an authoritarian government or dictator would do. It is corruption at its finest.

Not to mention, these moves are blocking the rights of the First Amendment. Freedom of press is one of the five rights listed in the first amendment, and by not allowing cameras, they block the press. Yes, the media is physically there for the briefings, but the moves do not allow them to fully do their job. They are legally allowed to have a camera, to have audio, to do their job.

These moves are a part of the long-standing battle that Trump has with the media. He needs to accept that not everyone is going to like him. Until that happens, he is nothing more than a teenage girl.

Trump does not seem to believe that he makes mistakes or that he is connected to idiotic people, Sean Spicer I am referring to you. Either make some adjustments to the people you have put in charge or allow the media to properly do their job.

I am sorry that you and a lot of people you work with make statements without thinking, I truly am. However, that does not give you the right to restrict the people from knowing the truth.


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FakeU |  Source: L. Smith, CBS Newa

Sean Spicer Resigns As Trump's Press Secretary

Spicey out.

After a six-month tenure, Sean Spicer has resigned his position as the White House Press Secretary. I'm gonna be honest, my first thought was, "Noooo, does this mean no more Spicey SNL bits from Melissa McCarthy?" ...I'm sure Saturday Night Live writers are going to have a field day with this one.

Now, you may be asking... why the heck did Sean Spicer resign? You may have noticed that Spicer hasn't been in the public eye as much recently, and that's because he had assumed the role of both press secretary and communications director. Well, today it was announced that Anthony Scaramucci, a New York financer, would be taking over that role, of course by the appointment of President Trump. He was offered the job this morning.

According to sources close to the White House, Spicer very much disagreed with and was very upset with Scaramucci's hiring, telling President Trump that it was a "huge mistake". There was a White House meeting that took place this morning where Scaramucci's hiring was to be announced. Spicer decided to resign right before the meeting.

In a way, I kind of feel bad for Sean Spicer. Sure, we all like to laugh and make jokes when we see those "Spicey" skits on Saturday nights, but in the end he had a really difficult job. Let's not forget, he was Donald Trump's press secretary. Meaning he had to more or less defend and explain some of Donald Trump's choices not only when it came to policy, but also his controversial statements as well, which would be no walk in the park for anyone.

Best of luck to you, Sean Spicer. We'll see how this whole thing unfolds, and if Trump's selection of Anthony Scaramucci really is a big mistake.


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FakeU |  Source: HuffingtonPost.com

Gronk Crashes Sean Spicer's Press Briefing

We live in Gronk's world.

I guess we were so close to being able to say "Assistant White House Press Secretary Rob Gronkowski" for the day.

The actual press secretary, Sean Spicer, was doing a press briefing when the New England Patriots tight end came out and offered Spicer a hand in help. The Patriots are visiting the White House today to celebrate their Super Bowl LI victory.

Regardless of whether or not you love Gronk, or the Patriots, I can agree with Spicer here when he says "That was awesome."

And honestly, let's face it. The Trump administration may be in charge here. The Kim dynasty may be heading North Korea. And Theresa May may be heading England as the prime minister.

But we live in Gronk's world.

Let's just recap all of the headlines Gronk has made within the past month or so.

First there was him crashing WWE events and helping old teammate and good friend Mojo Rawley (real name Dean Muhtadi) at WrestleMania 33, and then again at a recent Smackdown Live.

So maybe you'd think Gronk could be a wrestler after his NFL career is over.

But then again, maybe he'd make a good rapper?

Well...maybe not. But would anyone try to stop him? And would anyone be successful in trying to prevent New Englanders from getting to said songs produced by Gronk? I highly doubt it.

But if there's one thing Gronk does best, it's party. Oh, and not wear a shirt of course.

Because if Rob Gronkowski was the leader of the world, or at least President of the U.S., partying would be mandatory and shirts would be optional (guess that's saying "screw you no shirt, no shoes, no service.")

G & G Music Factory ?? (Rob Gronkowski & David Guetta)

A post shared by Wayne Crane (@waynecrane) on

Any calls for Gronk in the 2020 Presidential Election yet?

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FakeU |  Source: John Suder

Spicer Says Press Will Decide Where Trump Donates His Salary

Can you say, "Planned Parenthood"?

During the election campaign, Donald Trump insisted that he would not accept a salary if he were elected. Once he won the presidency, he again repeated the claim.

However, according to federal law, the president must be given monthly payments totaling at $400,000. Therefore, instead of keeping the money he is required to be paid, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said that Trump will donate his salary at the end of the year to a charity.

The charity has not yet been decided, so Spicer called on journalists to help determine where the donation should go at the end of the year.

"The way that we can avoid scrutiny is to let the press corps determine where it should go," Spicer said on the Monday, March 13 briefing, resulting in laughs from the press.

There has been no remark or proof of this donation from President Trump yet.

Journalists are taking up Spicer's offer on Twitter and are proposing possible charities, such as Planned Parenthood, Fisher House, Committee to Protect Journalists, and Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors.


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FakeU |  Source: capitolhillblue.com

Snoop Dogg Goes Too Far In,"BADBADNOTGOOD"

I'm inclined to agree with President Trump on this one.

Snoop Dogg joins the crowd of celebrities rallying against newly inaugurated President Trump. It's no secret that most of Hollywood is less than thrilled about the results of the 2016 Presidential elections, well, except for Kanye West.

In Snoop's recent release, "BADBADNOTGOOD," he points the finger at Trump in a very real way.

President Trump is depicted as a clown throughout the video. In a fake breaking news clip, President Trump, dubbed "President Klump" is seen at a press conference from the "Clown House." At the bottom of newsreel, it's written, "Ronald Klump wants to deport all doggs."

source: youtube.com

As the video continues, Snoop Dogg pretends to shoot Trump. However, as the video continues, Trump is seen in chains.

President Trump responded to this video in a Tweet from his "glorious Twitter account." In it, he brings up a very good point, asking the question, "Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @SnoopDogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama?"

As shocking as it may sound, I'm inclined to agree with President Trump. Whether you like him or not, creating a video pretending to shoot the President of the United States with a gun is not a joke. In fact, I can think of a dozen different ways to get the same message across.

If you'd like to see the video for yourself, check it out here. As for my critic rating, I'd give Snoop Doggity Dogg a 2/10. After all, the video was pretty creative.