How to Get Away with Doing Nothing at Work
Real Talk | 

How to Get Away with Doing Nothing at Work

"Let me check the back."

Working can be the worst. Odds are if you've ever worked part-time while in college you've learned how to get away with doing nothing. Slacking off is a valuable skill all part-timers master to avoid losing their minds. Here are some tips on doing nothing like it's your job.

Take frequent bathroom breaks.

Nobody questions a bathroom break. Learn how to balance them throughout the day to avoid notice. This is the perfect time to get caught up on your Instagram feed and tweet about how much you hate your job. Just make sure you don't get caught.

Always carry something.

This works best in retail jobs, but basically if you're holding something nobody will ever question you. Holding something tells your coworkers that you're busy and important. You can hold anything: merchandise, an empty box, trash, whatever. Bonus points if it's a clipboard, nobody ever questions a clipboard. Bring a clipboard from home if you have to and make up important tasks you need to do (but not really).

When in doubt, check the back.

Checking the back is literally my favorite thing ever. Once again, this is best for retail jobs, but basically whenever someone (a customer/coworker/manager) asks you about something, just say you'll check the back. Once in the back use this valuable time for important things like napping and checking your phone.

"Do you have this shirt in small?"
"Let me check the back."

"Where is the bathroom?"
"Let me check the back."

Works like a charm.

Avoid the manager.

When you see yourmanager , book it in the opposite direction. If you're about to be caught loitering around, quickly search for a decoy activity. Mess up a display, spill something, or create a riot. Suddenly become super involved in your invented project. Clearly you're already doing something super important and have no time for any of their tasks.

Get creative.

Working part time is literally the worst. Find what works for you to make the time go by faster and stick with it. When in doubt, check the back!

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Real Talk | 

Poo or Die

The College Bathroom Quandary

It's a conundrum for the ages. You're in public. You have to seriously drop a deuce. You're either one those people who can take care of your shit (literally) with no regard to who is within earshot--or worse, sitting less than a foot away from you--or you are one of those people for whom pooing in public is the stuff of nightmares and you'd rather let your own butt hole turn itself inside out than take the plunge.

If you're the latter, then the shared bathroom sitch in your dorm and at school in general has no doubt given you seriously anxiety. (Does anyone have a Xanax? Asking for a friend.)

And it's not just the poo quandary. You've got shared showers, to flip-flop or not to flip-flop, and those weirdos who think it's OK to smear their hair all over the shower wall and leave it. (Like honestly, who are you as a human being?)

We've listed a few things that can make dropping the kids off at the pool a little easier.

Hit off times: If you seriously cannot go in front of others, try hitting the bathroom during hours when most people aren't around: during peak class times or at like 1 a.m. when people are either still out or too blitzed to notice what you're doing in the bathroom, or way before the earliest class your school offers--we're talking like 6 a.m. Beat the traffic.

Spray it: If you're weird about people smelling your poo, buy a mini Lysol or room freshener spray to surreptitiously sneak in the bathroom. OK, this might sound weird, but spray the toilet water with a good amount of it your scent of choice before things do down. It creates a sort of filmy seal on top, thus masking any sort of undesirable smell from entering the air. It's very scientific. Hair spray works for with this trick, as well.

Toilet paper scarcity: We've all had those roommates who simply found it beyond their realm of ability to contribute their share of toilet paper the house bathroom. Like, how hard is it to buy toilet paper? This isn't the U.S.S.R. circa 1989. Even worse are those people who leave a single square hanging limply on the roll, without the decency to leave a fresh one on the back of the toilet like an actual human being. And like, a single square is a sufficient amount of TP for someone roughly the size of a Barbie, but I can assure you that myself--as well as my dumps--operate on a larger scale. Solution: buy your own toilet paper and keep it under your bed--all you have to do is remember to bring it to and from the bathroom each time.

You stayed over with your crush: First, if you have to pee, make sure there's an ample amount of toilet paper. This is key. If not, go home, because then he/she is just an gross human being and you don't need that kind of irresponsibility in your life. Now, if there is TP, cover the seat in multiple layers, because there's a very good chance that bathroom has never been cleaned. If you got a turtle head poking out, it's time to go home. If the chances of you making it across campus before the window closes are < 0 percent, then make a pit stop at the student center/nearest academic building. Some rando from your English class hearing you poo is way better than someone you'd potentially like to hook up with again.

Hair art: Some ass hat on your floor likes to leave half their head of hair on the shower wall, and as the odds have it, you are always the next one in the stall and spend the entirety of your shower playing contortionist and trying not to brush against the wall in a roughly 3-by-3 foot box. Tip: leave them a not-so subtle message written in their own hair. I've found that 'You're a dick' is pretty effective. Note that this actually involves you touching their disregarded follicles, but you're a grownup now, and it's time to make some hard choices. Also, no one should lose hair as such an alarming rate, so you might wanna remind everyone on your floor to check for bald spots. Alopecia is real, you guys.

To flip-flop or not to flip-flop: Yes. For the love of God, yes.

We'll leave you with this: if you find yourself in a stall and notice a of suspiciously quiet pair of feet next to you that likely belong to some poor soul suffering from poo anxiety and who is not doubt squeezing those cheeks together like there's no tomorrow, do them a favor and get the fuck out.

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Real Talk |  Source: mrs.kohanova

Why Every College Kid Should Work In Retail At Least Once

Who doesn't like discounts?

The dreaded retail. Everyone who has ever worked retail probably utterly despises it, and for good reason. The pay sucks, the hours suck, you get crappy, snobby customers, and sometimes even crappier coworkers. Even though these are all legitimate reasons to never work retail, there are so many reasons why you actually really should.

Every day is a networking opportunity.
Working in retail means you are constantly driven insane by the hundreds of needy, whiny, usually rude, customers that walk through your door. But you never know who that 35-year-old acting like a 10-year-old could be. For all you know, he could be the head of a huge company, or even your company CEO.

You never know who you're going to help, and who will remember you, and this not only teaches you patience, but how to pretend you like someone when you actually despise them--a very useful tool when going into the workforce.

Discounts, discounts, and more discounts.
Retailers always offer their employees discounts. And, as ridiculously in debt, poor college kids, we can use any discount we can get. My first job in retail was at JCPenney, and they gave their employees 25-percent off of all merchandise. Period.

The best part is, it could be combined with rewards, coupons, sales, anything. You could get a $30 shirt for $10. You'll end up spending almost all of your check there, but hey, you have cute new clothes to keep you warm and happy while you go into more debt!

You don't have to rearrange your class schedule.
Most jobs, besides retailers, aren't very cooperative with schedules. And if they have set hours, you're royally screwed and have to rearrange, drop, or work around all of your classes. Ain't nobody got time for that. So go grab a job with Macy's and keep your perfect schedule along with it.

Bonuses and performance rewards.
Free stuff is a college student's wet dream, and with a retail job, you get bonuses and free stuff up the ying yang--bonuses for meeting goals, contests, etc. Plus, sometimes they have parties with free food.

There is a job for you almost everywhere you go.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of retail stores across the U.S. alone, maybe even more. If you have any experience with any retail store, it's almost guaranteed another one will hire you if you move. So bounce around all of the United States like the hippie you know you want to be; you just won't be as poor as one.

You will learn valuable skills.
Retail teaches you a lot of lessons besides how to use a cash register and fold t-shirts like a boss. While working in retail, you're definitely going to learn how to work on a team, how to communicate effectively, how to control your feelings (trust me, the crappy customers teach you how to deal with the real world better than any therapist ever could), and generally, it just makes you a better, more rounded person.

If you're looking for a side-job during college, look into retail. You never know where it could lead you.

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Real Talk | 

I'm a Nursing Major, Call Me Back in 4 Years

'Cause I'll honestly be busy everyday until then.

Nursing majors unite in total misery. If you have nursing friends, you've probably seen firsthand the stress that our major puts on us. It's an extremely in depth, lengthy, and intensive profession to study in college. There are so many unique things that only nursing majors know and can relate to. It takes a special kind of person to handle what's thrown at us.

We have some of the highest credit hour classes. And they're somehow scheduled at the earliest times (8 a.m. sound like a familiar foe?). Having three, sometimes four, 4-5 credit hour classes is SO much information to be taken in daily.

On top of classes, we have clinicals. As early as 7 a.m. and as late as 10 p.m., we have to fit clinical hours into our schedules as well. Our day usually consists of class, class, snack, clinical, maybe bathroom, clinical, class.

Class doesn't end after class. I'll never understand how some of my friends can go to class and then not look at their book or notes again until they have that class again. Nursing students are constantly studying and reading ahead because it would be a downhill spiral if we didn't.

There's so much skill to be taught, we feel like we're losing our minds. With so much to learn, and so much at stake (literally a person's life in our hands), we often feel like we aren't even cut out to do this job.

Weekends aren't for fun. By the time our week is over, we're either too tired to do anything, or we have a ton of stuff to do before Monday. Go figure. It's so difficult to balance a social life with schoolwork.

We get to live in scrubs, basically. No problem picking out an outfit for the day. We get to choose between scrubs and scrubs.

Our biggest reward is knowing that we're helping so many people. No matter the struggle, it's amazing to know how much good we're doing for our patients. That's why we'll always love what we do. No matter what.

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Real Talk | 

Confessions of a Crazy College Chick Part 2

Ups(ide) and Downs of Mental Illness

Read part 1 of this series here.

Of all the people I've had to break the news to that my personality is so terrible it's classified as a mental disorder, nobody has really handled it too well.

When I was diagnosed a year and a half ago, most of my friends at the time took that as an opportunity to never talk to me again unless absolutely forced to in public situations. My family had no idea how to handle it, understandably. Nobody really knows how to deal with it. They don't write manuals on this kind of stuff (just kidding, they do, but the manuals suck and nobody reads them).

I have noticed one thing, though: a sign of whether someone is gonna stick around is if they ask me what it's like to be bipolar. This seems so simple and trivial, yet it is the one common reaction of every loyal friend I've ever told. TThe people who ask questions instead of just staring at me uncomfortably are the people that want to understand-and are those who have always been there and will hopefully continue to be there.

But what do I say to that? Where to even begin? Trying to sum up everything that is wrong with me in a few sentences is like trying to study without Adderall: not a pleasant sight and definitely not something I want to do. I've never really known exactly how to answer that question. Until today.

Today is my 19th birthday. Yesterday I went to bed excited to wear a new outfit, to open presents, and to spend a fun day with friends. Today I woke up pretty bummed out. I was hit with an unexpected wave of grief because I missed my mom. I thought about how I'd never be able to call her on my birthday. She passed away almost four years ago, and every holiday is just a little bit sad ever since.

But where most people could simply acknowledge the fact that it is sad and move on, I cannot. I process emotions a little differently. Here's a metaphor to explain: a "wave of grief" to you might mean a little tide washes over your toes. A wave of the same amount of grief to me would mean getting knocked down by a tsunami and swallowed up into the ocean.

So, I cried, but because I was determined to have a good day, I wiped away my tears and blasted my music. I got ready for class, and danced around the house instead of wallowing in self-pity. I sang Justin Bieber with my roommate and we laughed at my terrible singing voice.

Then I got a call from one of my mom's friends. We talked for a long time. It reminded me of the phone call I so badly wanted from my mom that when we hung up, I started crying again. But it wasn't the type of crying I had done earlier; it was more of a happy and reminiscent cry. A moment of sweet remembrance. I thought about how lucky I am to have people looking out for me, just like my mom did.

As I was getting into round two of the water works, I went to the bathroom to finish getting ready and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I couldn't help but laugh at myself and how quintessentially bipolar I was acting. In a matter of less than an hour I had cried, laughed, danced, cried again, then laughed because of the crying.

You might be thinking about those friends I mentioned earlier that disappeared the second I uttered the word "bipolar" to them, and how you can't blame them after hearing what a typical morning entails for me. Or maybe you think I'm just human and what I just described isn't even that bipolar of me. I would say that both of you are kinda right. I mean, compared to the psychosis, mania, paranoia, delusions, anxiety, severe mood swings, and depression I've experienced in my life, today I am pretty damn stable.

Or maybe, just maybe, you're one of the 2.6 percent of people also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since you're bipolar, I am not even going to try to guess what you're probably thinking or what's going on in that messed up little brain of yours. No offense.

What I will say to you 2 percenters is that after I got done laughing (after crying after laughing after crying), I finished getting ready, took my happy (but not too happy) pills, grabbed my backpack, and went off to class. I went back to my normal 19-year-old life.

On my way to class, I thought about the friends who had asked what it was like to be bipolar. I thought about how from here on out I would tell this story to anyone who wants to know what it's like to be have bipolar disorder. I thought about the doctor who told me that I would never have a normal life again, who said that college would probably not be possible.

I thought about how the reason I cried in the first place earlier that day was because this is the first birthday of mine since my mom passed where I can honestly say that she would be proud of me.

I thought about those friends that didn't stick around, and how much they were missing out on, and how lucky I am to have other people in my life that will always be just a phone call away.

I thought about all the numb people out there. Those who don't have highs or lows, who don't cry or laugh, who have been shut out to feeling the wide spectrum of emotions that I have the ability to feel. I decided that I would rather feel too much than not at all. I had just had my heart broken with the pain of losing the one I loved most, laughed until my stomach hurt with my best friend in the entire world, and cried after feeling the comforting presence of my mother, all before breakfast. Maybe my ability to feel everything so deeply is a sort of superpower that allows me to appreciate the good, learn from the bad, and connect with others along the way.

So if you're part of that 2.6 percent of the population that is like me, here is some living proof that you can have a normal life with bipolar disorder, something we're not told is possible nearly enough. What I would've done to have heard a story like this one during some of my darkest hours.

If you've never been diagnosed with a mental illness, you probably are ready for this whack-job to wrap up the blog post. But this story is just as important for you as it is for those struggling. Because statistically speaking, the chances of someone you know telling you they have a mental illness are astounding. And while you might be afraid, or judgemental, or not quite able to understand exactly, don't stop asking what it's like. Don't stop trying to understand.

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Real Talk |  Source: N. Leeper, FlockU

Lead A Healthier Lifestyle Without Changing Up Your Exercise Or Diet Routine

I'm not trying to sell you snake oil

You know the routine. You made a "new year, new me" resolution, a new fad diet caught your eye, or you splurged on that expensive-ass gym membership.

Two weeks later (maybe three if you're a real trooper), you're right back where you started, and ready to give up on ever being able to achieve that healthier lifestyle you were aiming for.

Consider this: maybe you've just been going about it the wrong way.

Allow me to suggest an alternative method for fixing your messy life: just declutter.

Decluttering means revolutionizing your entire organizational strategy. It means rearranging your priorities and deleting the excess. And it doesn't have to be as boring or tough as it sounds. A lot of the process can be fun and relaxing, because it is all about finding what works for you.

1.Figure out what your stressors are.
Got tons of student debt? Rearrange your budget. Pinched for time? Create a schedule for yourself. Maybe you don't know what's making you pull your hair out. Book a therapy session and get help sorting it out. Or just talk to friends and family.

2.Put yourself first.
This is probably the best and most exciting part of revolutionizing your lifestyle. Start by making a list of self-care tasks or routines you can add in. Do you like yoga? Sign up for that vinyasa class. Join one of those online wine clubs, or get those bath bombs you've been eyeing.

3.Drown some kittens.
Hold up and listen before you call PETA. Drowning kittens just means dropping some things you love from your schedule. They should be fluffy things you like but don't need. Maybe you ought to cut down your Starbucks intake to save money. Or lose that Hulu subscription and stick with Netflix. Or drop that club you're just too busy for.

4.Try new things.
If you feel bored or stagnant, strike an item from your bucket list. Get on Groupon and find a ballroom dancing coupon, or go rock climbing on discount day. Go out and find your new favorite hobby.

5.Connect.
Get with others who are going through the same process. It'll give you a sense of direction, and help you as you navigate the changes.

6.Buy a planner.
Instead of making it a chore, have fun with this one. Buy cute highlighters and channel your inner soccer mom as you color coordinate your schedule. Do this in a way that makes you want to sustain it.

7.Purge your junk.
This is a big one. If you haven't worn that romper since 10th grade, maybe it's time to go your separate ways. If you still have your seventh grade binders laying around, I promise that you don't need your biology notes anymore. Ditch 'em. That old car you keep throwing money into? Sell it and use a Zipcar when you need a ride.

8.Get your squad involved.
Why hoard all the life-changing? Get your homies in on the process and keep each other accountable. Hard things are always easier (and more fun) when they're shared. And they're more effective when you're held accountable by people you care about.

9.Brag about it.
Maybe you've been a self-caring, life-changing superstar all week. Shout it from the rooftops. Get on Facebook and do a little boasting about your progress. Support from your loved ones can only help.

10.Treat yo self.
Time to celebrate! Indulge in your guilty pleasure once in a while, because you're a badass and you did a great job.

It may look like a lot, but you've got this. Throw that old New Year's resolution out and get down to business.