21 Thoughts Every Art History Major Has
College Life |  Source: aol.com

21 Thoughts Every Art History Major Has

I'll find a job. Maybe.

Whether you're a fellow art history major who can relate, or an outsider curious about our inner monologue, these are some thoughts that probably go through all art history majors' minds at some point or another.

1. I love making notecards and drilling dozens of dates into my brain. NOT. Too bad by the time I finish making these notecards I won't have time before the exam to study them.

2. It's impossible that all these paintings are from 1915, but for some reason that's the only date I can think of. Fail.

3. My notes are crap. Why did I not write down anything more relevant about the work?

4. Wow. This artist was a nut. I'll add that tidbit to my fun facts list.

5. If I have to remember the information for one more Madonna and Child painting I'm just going to lay down on the sidewalk and give up.

6. I should have been an econ major.

Source: giphy.com

7. I studied 400 images and four were on the test. Four that I didn't know. FML.

8. WTF. Why would we ever compare these two works? What is my prof trying to get at? I must be missing something...

9. My hand is going to fall off. I've been frantically writing for an hour straight.

10. Shit. How do you spell this artist's name? So. Many. European. Artists.

11. Why did I not pursue computer science?

Source: giphy.com

12. Images count for page length, right?

13. I'm just going to make up my own analysis of the art. It's either totally insane or visionary.

14. This is all BS, but I think I'm making it work. Just keep adding visual analysis.

15. It's 11 p.m. the night before this is due. I'm using this book I found in the library as a source no matter what. I'll make it work.

16. If I was a math major I wouldn't even have to write papers. Ever.

Source: Giphy.com

17. How much should I tip? How do I figure out 20 percent of the check? I used to be a mathlete. What happened to my brain? It's full of useless facts about the Mughals and their art, that's what.

18. You've never been to the MET? What planet do you hail from? I've been there twice this week. Please, please, please come to this gallery opening with me. I swear it won't be thaaat weird.

19. I lied. That show is going to be weird AF, but so awesome. They'll be happy they saw it. Maybe.

20. Yes, my major is fun, but art history classes aren't just us smoking a bong and talking about art. I swear we do work, too.

Source: Memes.com

21. It's fine. I'll find a job. Maybe.

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The Top Five Electives to Take in College

"You'll never know unless you take "The Sociology of Miley Cyrus"

So maybe you're looking for a break from your pre-med requisites or you need to rack up some more credits before graduation. The possibilities are endless, especially if you're looking for a change from your normal course work. Here are the top five electives to consider taking, ranked both in terms of fun and how useful they are in life skills.

Psychology 101: This stuff is interesting AF. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself or finally be able to diagnose your roommate's personality disorder. Psych can be applied to almost anything and is one of those quintessential college classes that you shouldn't graduate without, regardless of your major.

A foreign language: Language classes are great mix of students from different majors and grade levels. This intermingling makes it a great place to meet people, especially those that you might not otherwise be in contact with. Language is also a really satisfying elective because you walk out of the class feeling like you learned a skill, even if you can only communicate at an elementary level. Also comes in handy when you travel abroad. This is also one of those classes that people wish they had taken or end up taking at the local community college when they are 35. Sad. Do it while you're in school, it's much sexier.

A dance class: When else are you going to get a chance to learn Indian Khattak or African Kpanlogo? This shit is so fun. Taking the class will add variety to your transcript and show you know how to have a good time. Bonus: it'll be great exercise and a way to relieve stress. Who knows, you may even learn some moves to bring to the dance floor. *cue lotus blossom hand gesture*

Art History 101: So maybe you think you don't like art, or don't really care. But, by taking an art history class you'll discover what kind of art you enjoy and you'll be surprised at how much you learn. You'll also feel like a badass the next time you're in a museum and can say something like "the figures in that Annunciation are very Rogerian in form" (I guess feeling like a prick is the other option). A class like Western Art I will give you a broad overview and expose you to a lot, or take something super specific that you know you'll like (my vote is a South Asian Survey class because Ganesh is my Ohmboy--get it? get it? You see what I did there?).

Finance: OK, before you laugh, hear me out. This is a class that falls under the life skills category. It'll give you some insight on things like how to manage your money. And don't tell me you don't need to learn this--you do. It's also something to diversify your transcript or resume and further prove what a Renaissance man or woman you are.

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College Life |  Source: L. Smith, Shutterstock

"Send Nudes" Or "Send Art"?

San Francisco's museum has you covered with the second part.

Art geek? Casual fan? Not that interested in art but looking for something fun to fill your time? The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art has you covered.

A year ago, the museum launched a phone number that people could text and receive a picture of a piece of art from their collection. The number has since shortened from a ten-digit number to a five-digit number as it began to need to handle higher volumes of requests.

How does it work?

You send the number "Send me _______". This can be a color, subject, mood or even an emoji--yes, an emoji. In return, the museum will text back a piece of art from its collection, along with the title, artist and date.

This one's my personal fave:

Actually, I stand corrected:

This shit is sick. I am a very, very casual art fan, but getting a bunch of pieces back based on a keyword is so cool and makes me much more invested in what I'm looking at.

The San Fran MOMA has so many pieces that it can only display five percent of its collection at a time, while the bot has the entire collection at its metaphorical fingertips. You can probably do this for days and still never see all of it, tbh.

If this is the museum's plan to make more people care about art, I think it'll totally work. Getting something sent specifically to what you asked for is way more interesting than just walking past a piece and playing "art or haphazard paint splatters?".

The number is 572-51, and it's green text (ugh), so just be careful about text message charges (does anybody even worry about those anymore, though?).

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College Life |  Source: mikeykungu

Thoughts You Have When You Hate Your Major

Because some of us still don't know what we want to be when we grow up.

I don't want to do this every day of my life.

I barely make it through two classes a week. My homework makes me miserable. I'm constantly wondering why I signed up for this, but I'm too far in to get out of it now, unless I want to be in college an extra two years. I'm to the point of liking gen eds better than my major classes, and that's probably a problem.

There's nothing else I want to do.

Just because I don't like my major doesn't mean I like any other major. I'm forever jealous of the people who've known what they wanted to be since they were 5 years old. I've never really known; and I still can't figure it out. There's literally NOTHING that makes me excited for the future. Maybe I should go into the singing business...I'm pretty good in the shower.

You don't know how to answer when people ask "How's school?"

If I'm being honest, it kinda sucks. Oh, and that's not nearly as bad as when you tell people you're an accounting major and they say, "ew that sounds awful," and you completely agree with them.

This is a waste of time and money.

I'm spending SO much money; and I'm not even happy. I just gotta get through it somehow, but I hate that I spend hours and hours doing something I'm not even looking forward to.

I know I sound like I'm complaining a lot, but not everyone is excited about their major. I'm for sure gonna be that person that goes back to school four times before finally settling down. Or maybe this is just me in denial that I'm almost an adult.

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I Promised to Never Skip Class Again

... and you should, too.

My freshman fall looks great on paper; The lowest grade is an A minus. I still don't know how I pulled it off, considering that I DIDN'T GO TO CLASS, and when I did, I rolled in hungover as fuck and sat in the back row in my neon pink fracket from the night before, eyes half open, brain only half awake.

I remember one particularly scarring incident in which I reached into my fracket pocket to pull out a tissue (in front of my very small seminar class), only to discover that I was holding not a tissue, but a pair of my own underwear.

The final critique for my art class, my professor looked me straight in the eye and asked me, "Do you want a nice critique or an honest one?" I opted for honest and he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think I was taking art seriously, or college for that matter. It was a slap across the face.

OK, but who cares if I got good grades in the end, right?? So what? At the end of the day, I could take my transcript home to my parents, and they could see that their money was being put to good use: I was learning stuff at school.

Wrong. I wasn't really learning anything. I was making a decision to lie in bed, when I could be reading books or painting or talking about history. I felt unfulfilled.

The only things satisfying about my college experience were my deceptively fun looking Instagrams. In reality, I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't sleeping enough. I was eating pizza for dinner almost every night. I was living with an undiagnosed anxiety disorder and refusing to address it. Above all, I wasn't taking advantage of the amazing college that my parents were shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for.

So this term, I haven't skipped class once. My grades are the same, but I am so much more engaged. I see myself applying things that I've learned in class to the world around me. I'm starting to notice how concepts in my different classes connect to one another. I still drag my hungover ass to class, but I sit in the front and I actually listen and talk.

I knew it was worth it when I took a class with that same art prof who gave me an honest critique one year ago. Last week, he looked at my studio and smiled: "You're really making a breakthrough!"

I never knew I could feel that proud.

College is for learning. It shouldn't have taken me so long to figure that out.

Fucking go to class. Seriously.

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Midterms [Cue '80's Horror Movie Screaming]

Academic Darwinism is a thing, people.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a student of the arts--meaning I don't have many midterms. Studio classes are project-based, which means basically every time something is due, it's the same as having a regular test in any other class. We stress over a long period of time, instead of two weeks of intense existential despair aka preparing for midterms--the latter of which is actually preferable. But hey, grass is always greener, right?

Of course, if you're not so fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on who you ask) to be in an art program, then midterms are the mid-semester Hell Week(s). It's academic hazing, where the curriculum you may or may not have been paying attention to kicks its way into your room at 2 a.m. with airhorns and scary clown masks and makes you recite the Gettysburg Address while you're being whipped with wet towels.

Some advice to prepare for the dreaded midterm: Pay attention. Take notes. Make friends with people who take notes. Plan study times. Plan breaks during those study times so your brain doesn't leak out your ears. Don't go out and party.

Let me repeat that.

Don't go out and fucking party.

You would think that would be common sense, but I have seen people making their way to any number of parties, when I know for a fact that we had a midterm the next day at 10 a.m. So, academic Darwinism, I guess.

When it comes to studying, don't wait until the night before. This is not new advice. We've all heard it before. But if you do find yourself in the a day-before-studying-situation, start as early as you can. Don't crack a textbook for an 8 a.m. midterm at 3 a.m. Unless you have a photographic memory, you are not the exception to the rule of late night cramming being markedly less efficient than if you started studying during the day, day being the operative word there.

Other than that, it's just basics. Notecards. 6 hours of sleep, MINIMUM. And also know that hey, you're actually pretty damn smart. You got this. I believe in you. In fact, right now, I'm sending good (midterm) vibes your way.

Just don't oversleep.