Wonder why that openly queer classmate sighs whenever a debate about queerness and sexuality comes up in class? Maybe it's not just the debate. They roll their eyes whenever a half of an obvious straight couple open their mouth.
What goes on through that classmate's head? Lucky for you, I can give you a little insight to LGBTQ+ microaggressions, and why they're so awful.
"That's so gay."
I'm sorry, did you just imply being gay is a negative thing? In that case, maybe I should start making comments like "Wow, that's really straight."
"Can I write about how people choose to be gay?"
No. My existence and sexuality is not something up for debate. The fact that some little prick thinks that being queer is a choice is super gross. Not to mention it's a harmful belief when it comes to closeted classmates who had to hear that question. It's demeaning and basically says to the world, "Your existence has no meaning!"
"Who's the man/woman in the relationship?"
Heteronormativity strikes again, folks! Why do people assume I would date a girl who acts like a man? Is it because I act girly? Do I need to stay within the boundaries of a heterosexual relationship? Last I checked, I'm pretty sure I would date a girl because I like girls. Not due to femininity or masculinity.
"You're bi? Wanna have a threesome with me and my girlfriend?"
Bi girls on Tinder get this shit a lot. Just because a bi girl is interested in more than two genders does not mean she wants to fuck with you and your girlfriend at once.
"You're too pretty to be a lesbian."
Not every lesbian is the spitting image of Orange is the New Black's Big Boo. Lesbians can (and do!) wear dresses and traditionally feminine clothes. Lesbians can be pretty. Lesbians come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. Just like every other fucking human being on this planet. Crazy, I know. Assuming all lesbians are ugly is really insulting.
"Are you straight or are you gay?"
Oh boy. The straights are back at it again, thinking in binaries. For some reason, it just doesn't seem to occur to people that there are more sexualities out there than just straight or gay. There's bisexual, pansexual, asexual, so on and so forth. And I'm not even going to get into the "there are only two genders" belief because I'm going to blow too many fucking minds.
"How does sex work?"
Let me ask you the same question: How does sex work? Feels pretty uncomfortable. How do you think it feels for a queer person? It's not like we're already scrutinized for so many other things out there. But yeah, go ahead, just ask us about our sex life, which should be just as personal as yours, but apparently it's not.
"You just haven't met the right person yet."
Oh. My. God. Being asexual doesn't mean I haven't met the right person. It just means I don't experience sexual attraction. I can still have sex (although it doesn't interest me personally). Asexuality varies from person to person, and it has nothing to do with meeting the right person.
"Wow, you're gay? Do you know ___?"
Just because queer kids hang out with other queer kids does not mean I know your gay friend from Oregon. We don't have a special club with a list of contacts. I can't just call up Ru Paul to see how he's doing with the latest season of Ru Paul's Drag Race.
"Why isn't there a straight pride week?"
There will never be a straight pride week until straight kids are bullied into committing suicide for being straight. There will never be a straight pride week until straight couples are threatened for holding one another's hands on the streets, kissing in public, or any other examples of PDA. There will never be a straight pride week until straight people are killed for being straight.
"God, why can't they shut up about being gay?"
I don't know, it's an integral part of our identity. And being queer isn't exactly the most acceptable thing in the U.S. yet. We need to be vocal so that people understand that we're human. We're tired of being silenced and oppressed. We're at a point where we can be open about being queer, but not as open as we'd like. Besides, if you can talk about your partner for hours on end, so can we.
Preferably without any of these microaggressions that straight couples won't be asked.