While the majority of us expected drama to unfold because, well, it's Trump, and because that's just politics, the top headlines don't typically inform us as to, you know, the information that is relevant to us
Key takeaway - Sean Spicer is a closeted Brony but nonetheless willing to throw Twilight Sparkle under the bus. l https://t.co/xSBCgsa41r-- BoninoBoninoBin (@MissSinBin) July 20, 2016
But fear not, I'm here to break it down so you can continue to read your news feed for all the best digs at Ted Cruz, and still feel like an informed voter.
Day 1: The primary speakers were Trump's Wife, Melania Trump, Rudy Giuliani, and a number of other Republican candidates and celebrities.
In addition to highly praising Trump, which makes sense, Melania discussed the importance of "work[ing]" hard for what you want in life," and her primary goal as first lady, to ensure that everyone has an education. Which is ironic considering she and her speechwriter forgot the "plagiarism isn't OK" lesson from elementary school, copping parts from a previous speech of Michelle Obama's.
She should have used Turnitin.
Rudy Giuliani brought up the emotional, pressing issue regarding the recent violence affecting this country, stressing the need to "Make America Safe Again." A seemingly good starting point, yet throughout the convention it was made clear that this safety agenda was not for minorities. Sheriff Clarke Jr. labeled Black Lives Matter an "anarchy" (and previously, a "hate group").
If that wasn't bad enough, Steve King outright questioned the value of non-whites in America, stating "I'd ask you to go back through history and figure out where these contributions that have been made by these other categories of people that you are talking about?"
Yes, all on live TV.
Day 2: The biggest takeaway from this night? Trump officially clinched the Republican nomination. The main speakers were former candidate and current suck-up Chris Christie, House Speaker Paul Ryan, Tiffany and Donald Trump Jr, and *eek* NRA executive director Chris Cox.
Overall, this night was primarily an attack against Hillary; most notable with Christie screaming "GUILTY" in reference to the emails, with the occasional discussion of jobs and the economy.
While Trump's ego has clouded the image of "family man" for the entirety of his campaign, his children's speeches painted a "considerate" and "supportive" side of Trump that many of us have not seen. Donald Jr.'s speech in particular was the highlight of the night, referring to Trump's business success as a foundation for putting "Americans first" in economic development.
Cox ended the night by shooting himself in the foot, but not literally. But after all the recent tragedies, talking about protecting the "right to own a gun" was ill-timing.
Day 3: The primary speaker was supposed to be VP candidate Mike Pence, but Ted Cruz stole the show, insuring that this would be the most dramatic night of the convention.
Wednesday marked the first time Pence spoke solo as he lauded Trump's moral character, coining him the "candidate of change" in this election versus the "stale agenda and the most predictable of names."
A safe, nice speech in comparison to Cruz. Cruz began by tugging at heartstrings, and as he congratulated Trump it seemed possible that he was finally putting up a white flag to the previous vicious rivalry.
OH, no. Instead, he told Americans to "vote your conscience," and proceeded to be booed. BOOED, AT THE CONVENTION, which was on LIVE TV.
Newt Gingrich attempted to save Cruz's butt, stating "Ted Cruz said, 'You can vote your conscience for anyone who will uphold the Constitution. In this election there is only one candidate who will uphold the constitution." But it was to no avail - the boos surely left Lyin Ted a Cryin Ted.
Gingrich proceeded to promote Islamophobia with extreme fear tactics, stating that the danger our country faces is "even worse than September 11th." Using a lot of numbers, he essentially equated a vote for Hillary as a vote to endanger the US. So there's that.
"Republican National Convention" anagrams to "Con vulnerable nation into panic." #rnc-- Zach Sherwin (@zachsherwin) July 18, 2016
Even after rips to his character, Cruz told CNN he still refuses to endorse Trump. I'll be honest, I thought, and still think, that Cruz is terrifying, but I have to give him credit for sticking to his beliefs unlike the other candidates (who all at one point labeled Trump unqualified). He highlighted the fact that we should be voting for someone in this election, not against.
Now that you're caught up on the important stuff, you can turn back to catching up on all the entertainment.