No one wants to be rejected. Especially her. Not saying that guys will take "no" to a date with a grain of salt; the hurt feelings are real for them, too. But girls can typically find themselves submerged in emotional wreckage.
Even in modern society, where gender norms have supposedly become less restricting, the social expectation for a guy to ask a girl out on a date, and not the other way around, still has a strong presence. And college campuses are no exception.
No one wants to admit it, but it's there. And because this norm exists, college girls find themselves guided into an unwelcoming position. Picture a girl excessively paining herself over whether or not the cute guy from chemistry lab likes her back. But you're not allowed to ask him. You can propose a study hangout, but he's supposed to ask you to dinner or ask you on an official date.
Young women can easily fall victim to overanalyzing and overreacting every social interaction with their crush. Suddenly, this state of uncertainty has put all the power in the hands of the guy, who should not be this important of a part in your life.
Burdened by a similar boy-involved anxiety, I decided to screw the social expectation and take matters into my own hands. I asked a guy out whom I had become close with over the duration of the past semester; at the time, we were just friends.
First off, let me say that it's not a lie when the Internet tells you that guys do like when girls can ask them out. Making that first move is courageous and respectable. After all, he may just be too shy to ask you- - maybe because he's unsure if the both of you have mutual feelings for each other.
It was a daunting task, even when I was confident he would say yes. Some of my closest friends also fully supported my decision and shared my hopes with zero doubt.
He said no.
No more mind tricks; it was made painfully clear. At first, my mind was only stuck on, "Where did I go wrong?" After all, I thought I'd made good efforts to show my potential interest in something more, and I thought he had responded encouragingly. Also, a quiet, polite guy saying "no" is never in the script. But I soon realized that was just another social expectation I had: the expectation that nice guys don't turn girls down.
Unknowingly, I created an expectation when I thought I was only breaking one down.
So ladies, you may not get the answer you want to hear. But don't ever let that stop you from taking control of any desired potential romantic relationships, as long as those feelings are real. In hindsight, I don't regret a single moment of that decision to ask a guy out. Because I might've otherwise spent an entire semester anxiously and eagerly awaiting a date invitation that would never come.