The Childhood Movies With The Biggest Plot Holes
Entertainment |  Source: L. Smith,Disney Wiki

The Childhood Movies With The Biggest Plot Holes

But some will make you laugh.

1. Cinderella.
Cinderella's fairy godmother granted her the opportunity to dwell among the socialites for the night, under the condition that all of it would disappear at midnight. So riddle me this: how was the slipper still there?

Also, even if the slipper didn't disappear, c'mon, there had to have been another girl with the same sized feet, let's be realistic here.

2. Hercules.
Hades instructed Pain and Panic to feed the mortality potion to Hercules in order to be able to kill him. Hades is the god of the underworld, and has every dead person's soul swimming in his pool of the deceased.

So why, then, in the 20 years Hades has assumed that Hercules had been dead, did he not check in the pool for his soul? Even once? Don't you think he'd want to mock the soul of his obnoxious brother's son? Seems a little fishy to me.

3. The Little Mermaid.
The only way Ariel can get to Prince Eric is by making a deal with the sea witch Ursula and trading her voice for legs. When she's on land, Eric asks for her name, but she can't talk. But why couldn't she mouth it? Or write it? And honestly, the most questionable part is when they eat dinner.

The server announces they're having stuffed crab, and Ariel's just totally down with that. Um, hello? Your best friend is a crab! You can't be doin' that shit.

4. Pocahontas.
British colonizers have infiltrated Pocahontas's homeland, and John Smith has bonded with Pocahontas. How the heck does Pocahontas speak English to him? There's no way in her native land she spoke English.

This is not adding up, people!

5. Snow White And The Seven Dwarves.
The seven dwarves decide to take Snow White under their wing - as long as she agrees to cook and clean for them while they're off at work. The dwarves mine jewels for a living (we're talking diamonds, rubies and emeralds here) yet they live in a hut?

Also, why do they live together? I feel like they'd definitely be able to pay for individual homes if they were bringing home all these jewels. Also, they'd would 100 percent have sugar babies. These jewel miners would not be single.

6. Mickey Mouse.
Goofy, one of Mickey's best friends, is a dog, and Mickey also has a pet dog named Pluto. So, if they're both dogs, why can Goofy speak English and Pluto can't? Why is one enslaved as a pet and the other one free? That's just not right.

7. Toy Story.
Buzz Lighter continually makes it clear that he's a real space ranger and not a toy like the rest of the characters in the movie. However, Buzz always freezes like the rest of the toys when a human comes in. 'Fess up Buzz, what's the deal? Are you real or not? What's with the identity crisis?

Image Alt
Entertainment | 

Confession: My Name is Taylor Swift and I (Still) Love Kanye West

Plot twist: TSwift and I are related.

My name is Taylor Swift and I absolutely love Kanye West. I could not tell you the number of cover photos, tweets, and statuses I have made about my low-key obsession/enchantment with him. It's not just his music, it's his whole gives-zero-fucks persona. His Kanye-fidence is a combination of ridiculous, comical, and inspiring. If I had even just an ounce of that self-assurance I would be set for the real world post-graduation.

The problem is, I'm also related to Taylor Swift--second cousins, to be exact. Our families aren't super close, so the same name thing was purely a coincidence, but I still get tons of jokes. I'm not a big country fan, but ever since the 2009 VMA incident, I felt like I had to slightly compromise my love of Kanye for the sake of the family name.

So when I found out his new album, Swish then Waves then finally The Life of Pablo was coming out on Feb. 11, my birthday, I freaked. I felt like I truly had a connection on an emotional--no, spiritual--level. To be clear, this wasn't just any birthday, this was my 22nd birthday [insert TSwift joke here]. After years of feuding, West's public apology in 2015 marked the beginning of a long-awaited friendship. His chosen album release would be the final proof of full West/Swift amends. It was destiny.

Then Kanye unveiled Famous at his Madison Square Garden release of TLOP and shit hit the fan. Swifties everywhere took to social media bashing on the rapper for this shocking line:

"I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous / God damn / I made that bitch famous."

*Cringes* All my hopes for #KanTay2020 were officially destroyed. Kanye claims he called Taylor for approval over the "joke" but her rep says otherwise, that she had actually "cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message". With the recent stream of low-key insane tweets by West, it's likely that Swift was completely unaware of the line, and for that, Kanye's move was pretty shitty.

Taylor's acceptance speech at last night's Grammys was a powerful response to Kanye and all the haters who have tried to discredit this talented lady.

But to be entirely honest, Famous is one of my favorite songs on the album. Am I even allowed to say that? It's catchy, and kinda funny if you don't take it too seriously. (Jokes, right Kanye?)

We've known from the start that West always has surprises up his sleeve and an overflowing ego. I mean, there's literally a song on TLOP called I Love Kanye. For me, that's all just part of his allure. Although I think he needs to watch some of what he says (BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!! Seriously?!), and show more respect for other artists, for me he's practically untouchable because he doesn't seem like a real person. (Yes, Kanye, I realize you think you are a God. Or Yeezus. Whatever.) So while I don't think this was "album of the life," I'm still going to continue to be a mega (conflicted) fan and hope that someday I get to see him live.

I dunno, there's just something about being a talented narcissistic asshole with some sick beats/lines that really gets me going.

I think Kanye's recent tweets demonstrate how something in him must have recently just snapped. My theory is that Kanye clearly just could not Keep Up With [those] Kardashians, or being a dad just is really, really hard. When it comes down to it, Kanye crossed some serious lines and should take responsibility for his actions and apologize to my fam. In the meantime Yeezy, if you accept me as your VP, we can still keep that #KanTay2020 dream alive.

Image Alt
Entertainment | 

Don't Do Cocaine Or Chuck Norris Will Come Find You (Video)

Perfect entertainment for a snow day ...

HuffPost has put together a far-reaching movie mashup from dozens of scenes with that pesky little crystalline nose candy. In the words of Rick James:

My main takeaway is that if you're sitting in a dark room minding your own business and leisurely sniffing a little blow --Chuck Norris will show up and slam your head into the table a couple times.

Don't argue with Mr. Norris. You will not win.

Image Alt
Entertainment |  Source: R. Cook (edited)

The Mulan Remake Doesn't Need Music

Let's get down to business.

Niki Caro, director of the 2018 live action Mulan remake, stated in an interview that there are no songs planned for the upcoming movie.

Of course, fans were enraged at this decision and took to social media. This wasn't the first time this film has caused backlash, such as rumors of a white-washed cast. (Thankfully it was debunked.) Naturally, nearly all of these tweets included the iconic "dishonor on your cow" gif.

"WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT?!" this twitter user exclaims. I hate to break it to you (and anyone else out there who's pissed about this news), but there probably is a point. I'm going to take on the role of the most rare and beautiful flower of all and defend why no music is actually a good decision. Let's get down to business, shall we?

Adaptations of just about anything are going to have haters. No movie is ever going to be like the book, nor will they ever be "faithful" to their origins, either. It's impossible to compare two different mediums and expect the same results.

Yes, Mulan is a movie. But the 1998 Mulan is animated; this upcoming one is live action. Those are two different mediums. Animation allows more freedom in ways live-action cannot. Sure, we have amazing CGI effects nowadays, but let's be real: a CGI Mushu isn't going to have the same effect on audiences as the wise-cracking pocket-sized lizard--I mean, dragon--Mulan carries around.

This moment in the 1998 film would not translate well into a live-action Mulan. Mushu is not supposed to be scary or frightening. CGI might be able to achieve a similar cutesy or humorous effect, but it depends on the CGI and the movie's tones.

Mulan is not a movie about what it means to be a princess or having a whirlwind Disney romance. It's about the devastating effects of war. Mulan takes her father's place in the army because if no one else does, he'll die. It's not necessarily about her finding love (although she does question her motives regarding honor), but about her fighting in a war that would have taken her father's life.

Animation is fluid and allows more flexibility. It's easier to balance a musical number and tragedy.

"A Girl Worth Fighting For" does this beautifully in how this song ends. It cuts off abruptly when Mulan and her comrades stand before a destroyed village. In it are the remains of the villagers, as well as Shang's father and army. Now, imagine this exact scene remade with real people. It's an inappropriate (maybe even obscene) scene with the music.

But take the musical bit away in that live-action imagining. There are soldiers marching off to battle, knowing that they could very well die on the journey. It's not as fun, but it's appropriate given the situation. That's the point. War is not a fun, light-hearted affair. I'm not saying that the live-action Mulan should not have some fun in it. It definitely should have some humor here and there.

What it needs is good taste. And that's what a live-action Mulan without musical theatre antics would create.

Image Alt
Entertainment |  Source: Saint Hoax

Has Trump Seen These Disney Movies?

'Cause they pretty much describe him.

Disney nails it every time. I don't know about you, but I grew up watching those classic films (read: the only thing I watched). I trusted Disney's beloved characters and kept wary of those villains.

These feelings, although moving, are unlike what I feel when I look at President Trump. How do I cope, then? Well, many Disney films' characters are quite representative of President Trump, and those classic movies help me avoid getting too "sad!" Seriously, though; this might blow your mind.

1. He's like Ursula stealing away all our voices. Ariel prevails in the end, though. Let's not forget that little gem.

2. Unlike Pinocchio, Trump's nose doesn't get bigger when he lies. But if it did, his nose would be all the way in Russia by now.

3. Trump's (almost) travel ban would have blocked our own magic carpet rides.

4. Steve Bannon is pretty much Ed the Hyena (aka: totally whacked). And Trump's totally fine with it.

5. And, let's not forget, Trump literally called Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas". We caught your vibe, Trump.

6. Trump is much like the Beast, sans transformation. Unlike Belle, we can't look past his narcissism.

7. Trump's proposed health care bill was like the evil queen's poison apple... And we were all nervous to take a bite.

8. Pretty much all liberals when we heard Trump's plans to defund Planned Parenthood. Inside Out, you nailed it.

9. All of us when Trump said "bad hombre."

10. Also us every time Trump uses the phrase, "the failing NY Times." Thanks, Boo.

11. When Trump hired Kellyanne Conway, we were nervous. And then she literally cited something that never even happened, and now we are downright scared of her logic.

12. Another good rep of Steve Bannon pulling Trump's strings. At least in Ratatouille the team made good food...

13. How Trump thought he would pass all of his bills.

14. In actuality...

15. Oh, and we can't forget the infamous phrase, "Nasty Woman," when all Clinton supporters were like:

16. If Goofy saw Trump's tweet about the "so-called judge," he'd surely wig out.

17. You guys didn't book a stay in Trump Tower for anytime soon, right? Pretty sure Trump wouldn't let you leave.

18. Trump explaining why he wants to build a wall.

19. When Trump said he didn't believe in climate change, we thought: maybe you should check out Wall-E.

20. Sometimes, I straight up feel like Alice. Is this even reality?

Ah, only four years my friends. But Disney... At least that's forever.

Image Alt
Entertainment |  Source: nickelodeon

The 15 Best TV Show Theme Songs From Our Childhood

They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Recently, I heard a few old Nickelodeon TV show theme songs, and, besides being totally impressed with myself for nailing all the lyrics (and instrumental sounds...ya heard Rugrats fans?), I was amazed how good they all were.

Like, good enough that I would casually listen to them for shits and gigs and not feel embarrassed if they came up on shuffle in front of other people.

While our parents might fight us on this because they had some pretty rad TV show theme songs back in the day (I watch TV Land sometimes, OK, guys??), I'd say the opening tunes from the shows of our youth take the cake.

In fact, they (and the shows they intro) are so good, sometimes I feel bad for my future kids for missing the golden age of theme songs.

Disagree with me? Well, you're wrong. And with this countdown of the 15 best theme songs from our childhood shows, I will prove to you just how wrong you are.

15. Zoey 101

A little poppy number from the pop princess's little sis.

14. Big Wolf on Campus

An angsty intro that made you want to jump up and down on the couch.

13. Cousin Skeeter

All the soul and feels coming from a Nickelodeon show featuring a trouble-making puppet.

12. So Little Time

An alternative chill diamond song among one of the many jewels of the Olson Twin franchise.

11. As Told By Ginger

Without touching upon the fact that the poor redheaded protagonist's name is Ginger, Macy Gray kills this track.

10. Kim Possible

It's appropriate that the absolute babe that is Kim Possible has a theme song by another babe, Christina Milian.

9. Proud Family

A Solange Knowles number that reminds us that family is the best (especially her family...).

8. Drake & Josh

A fun pop rock song for a show where we could laugh... and swoon at Drake (no offense Josh... you're a really nice guy).

7. That's So Raven

A little singing here, a little rapping there, this theme song captures all the fun that was That's So Raven.

6. Malcolm in the Middle

Heisenberg's show (before he started dealing) features a pretty dope intro beat, no?

5. Laguna Beach

Hilary Duff's classic "Come Clean" couldn't be more perfect for the opening sequence to a show about rich white kids living it up in California.

4. The OC

The song responsible for introducing not only a great show, but also for quoting in any California vacation Instagram/Snapchat captions.

3. All That

You can fight me on this, but this might be one of TLC's greatest songs.

2. Kenan & Kel

Coolio, the rapper who made Gangsta's Paradise, raps this theme song, so yeah...it's cooler than any other intro song you've ever heard.

1. Fresh Prince of Bel Air

DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince set up a song that can have anyone chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.