Tales of a Professional Third Wheel
Sex & Relationships |  Source: Rachel Wolsky

Tales of a Professional Third Wheel

Why have a bicycle when you could have a tricycle?

Anyone who is the only single person in their immediate group of friends knows the simultaneously rewarding and isolating experience that is referred to as "third-wheeling." As someone who has never had a legitimate boyfriend, let's just say I'm practically a professional third-wheel at this point.
Maybe I should write that on my resume.
Regardless of what self-deprecating remarks other third-wheelers make about their "unfortunate" role, there are definitely some pros to being the last wheel on the tricycle.
Take my experiences, for example. My college roommate (we're going on three years as roomies) has been dating her high school sweetheart for almost five years now. As someone who went to an all-girls, Catholic high school, the thought of having a boyfriend since 10th grade seemed like science fiction to me.
So when he visited for the first time, I didn't know how to act. Luckily, he and I clicked immediately.
Although I didn't quite know where to look when they occasionally kissed across from me in the booth of the sushi restaurant we were dining at, the general vibe of our time together felt more like three best friends hanging out rather than a couple and their super-duper single friend.
Two years later, I consider my roommate's boyfriend to be one of my own friends. In fact, he's been a great friend: he bought me a birthday present, and also treated both my roommate and me to Pirates game tickets (which are fairly expensive, mind you).
Granted, there are times when being a third wheel makes me feel like a stage-five clingy friend. Balance is key: hang out with your friends and their significant others sometimes, but also know when to give them their space and leave them alone. No one wants to feel like they're a burden, and sometimes you have to remember that the couple in question is not dating you, too.
You may be wondering: does being a third wheel make me transform into a bitter college relationship hater?
Absolutely not.
While there are occasions when I'll see my friends holding hands with their significant others and become morbidly aware that the only thing my hand will be holding is my Solo cup or cell phone, I'm proud to say that I have never fallen into that dark void of desperation.
I admire my roommate's love and loyalty towards her high school sweetheart. I am also incredibly thankful for all of the things he has done for me despite only having met me a few select times.
However, I know that my time will come and that I, too, will meet someone that will possibly give my friends their own taste of what it's like to be a third wheel.
I just hope they can enjoy it as much as I do.

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Sex & Relationships | 

Throwback to Season 1

Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.

I have this running joke with my current friend group where I refer to some of them as the, "Season 4," cast in my life. As I've graduated high school, entered college, and then got shuffled into my major, friends have come and gone.

Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.

So, Season 4, the season of my Maturity ArcTM, where I'm bravely forging ahead with my life, taking opportunities and preparing for life after graduation. Things are going good. Great, even. So, of course, there's gotta be a callback to my Origin ArcTM.

And that's when we start bringing back the Season 1 characters that we thought were out the door.

To put it less dramatically, a friend from high school came to visit me, and we had a really fun time. No awkward silences, no not really knowing what to say to each other, we just picked up from where we'd left off.

Being fairly out of touch with my graduating class, my time with them has kind of fuzzied out in my brain, but it took maybe an hour (and three beers) for it all to come back. The embarrassing stories, the inter-clique politics, the illicit romances.

God, high school was truly one of the most infuriating times of my life, but looking back on it after having graduated almost three years ago it all seems so funny. And past that, it was just so nice to have someone who's known me for so long back in my life for a night.

If you graduated and didn't look back then that was your decision. Burn those bridges, man. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. But laughing about all the dumb shit you did or saw is miles better with a beer and an old friend than it is by yourself.

The first season may be shittier than the rest, but hey, it's there for a reason.

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Sex & Relationships |  Source: Avery Monsen (edited)

The Beginner's Guide To Being A Third Wheel

It doesn't have to get awkward.

Relationships are lovely things... for the people involved. For the other people, it can get a bit awkward. Whether your bestie started dating a mutual friend or someone you've never seen before, you're probably going to start feeling like a third wheel when you're all together. Here's a handy guide for when a trio turns into a couple... plus a third wheel.

1. Carry on with life as usual.
It's a relationship, not a death sentence. Your friends are not going to die, you are not going to die, and your friendship most certainly will not die. Things will probably change, but not drastically. Continue on with your usual life. Keep up with your weekly study sessions, your weekend get-togethers, and your set-in-stone mealtimes. Things are going to be alright.

2. Don't let it get awkward.
Don't constantly wink at the couple, don't make odd sexual comments every time they go off alone, and please don't stay nearby when they're doing... couple stuff. (See the final tip) Like the last tip said, continue with your normal life. Now is not the time to be the creepy, awkward friend.

3. Don't get salty.
As a single third-wheel, you might feel a little frustrated or jealous. "Why are they in a relationship, and not you? Why do they always have to be so... cute?" Don't let thoughts like these enter your head for two reasons. First, you don't want to hurt your friendship, and second, you don't need negative thoughts like that in your life.

4. Talk to them.
If there's something bothering you (be it about being the third wheel or feeling uncomfortable around all of their PDA,) you should totally tell them. Don't keep things bottled up. Your friends still care about you. You could talk to them before, and you can definitely talk to them now.

5. Know when to give them space.
Pick up on the hints. If they're being very flirty or very touchy, maybe you should give them a bit of alone time. While it's cool to be a third wheel at a sporting event or dance, there are some times when you probably don't want to be there with them. This is one of them. Abandon ship, ASAP.

Try following these tips next time you find yourself as the third wheel. Just carry on as usual and live your life.

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Sex & Relationships |  Source: @stefiakti

Why You Are Single and Alone

You're probably bringing yourself down.

Being single can be the greatest thing ever or a curse straight from hell. It can be a period of your life where you can take time to find yourself, or a period where you drown in your misery. It all depends on your perspective, and when it comes to dating and love, perspective is EVERYTHING.

But if you are one of those single and ready to mingle types that feel they just can't seem to get it right when it comes to dating, you're not alone. But feeling that way is a perfect sign that it is time for you to change your perspective. What better way to change your perspective than to do a bit of self-analyzing?

After a few years of being single and aimlessly drifting through the dating world as if I were lost at sea, I recently took the dive into a new relationship. I went from being single and alone to finding someone, but before being able to do that I had to change my negative way of thinking. You can do the same and here's how.

Your sense of humor sucks and you're boring.
Everyone loves to laugh. I know, it's a cliche as old as time, but cliches are cliches for a reason. Learn how to gauge how someone you like handles certain jokes. What one person finds vulgar and tasteless another person could find downright hysterical. If you can somehow manage to keep a girl smiling and entertained for just a few minutes, then you are in there like swimwear.

You should get off your ass!
Sitting at home in your Spongebob pajama pants with some wine and your cats while binge watching Orange Is the New Black is not an effective way to find love. You have to get out into the real world. Meet new people. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Surrounding yourself with the same people and doing the same things every day is a surefire way to end up a lonely old person. And no one wants to be a lonely old person.

Love yourself, you negative Nancy.
There's nothing worse than being around someone who is a negative Nancy. They are a constant source of negative energy, like a black hole that sucks in everything that gets close to it. I've had times where I was in such a slump that I didn't realize I was bringing everyone around me down.

You've got to love yourself before you can expect someone else to.

Be a selfish prick for a bit.
Isn't it sad when you a see a guy or girl invest all of their time and energy into someone else? Codependency can be cringeworthy, so avoid being "that guy/girl". Learn to get your life flowing in a direction that you feel is productive. Put your focus into bettering yourself in every way.

Nothing beats being around someone who seems to have it all figured out. It inspires those around you and gives them positive vibes.

Grow some balls.
And finally, the most cliche of all cliches - you have to be fearless and confident. You can't let fear of rejection control you. Start by doing things in your everyday life that cause you to face uncertainty. Try taking a different route to your morning class.

Push yourself to try something new and difficult, like learning a new language or signing up for a gym membership. Train yourself to always be at your best so the next time you see that girl or guy you've been crushing on, you'll have the balls to simply introduce yourself.

And maybe, just maybe, you won't be single and alone anymore.

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Sex & Relationships |  Source: @chibelek

Reasons Why Most Nice Guys Are Single

Because girls in their 20s want someone unpredictable.

All the pretty girls in their 20's know about this type of guy. This type of guy is dying to be with her. He opens doors for her. He sends her flowers. He texts her every morning. He is willing to give her the world. He's classified as "the nice guy".

However, there's one problem. You would think that most girls would be appreciative of even being in the presence of this type of guy, right? Wrong!

Most young girls want someone different. They want someone who is unpredictable. Someone who ignores them sometimes. Someone who they feel like they can have fun with. In their minds, a nice guy can't do that. They feel like most nice guys will do whatever a girl wants and think nothing of it.

This is why nice guys usually can be found somewhere in the escapable place called, "the friend zone". Once a guy is placed in the "friend only" category when he never intended on being placed there in the first place, it never usually ends well.

She'll tell him her problems. She'll ask his opinion on other guys. She'll even say this famous statement, "Any girl would be lucky to have you". He'll smile and say thanks, but deep down he's dying inside after he hears these words.

Most nice guys will not only give a girl what they want, but they'll sometimes forget to show that they can be leaders. They'll forget that they should be catered to also--it isn't just about the girl.

This is how most guys were raised though. Their parents probably raised them to be respectful and courteous to all people. Especially to girls. T

hey most likely grew up to be intelligent, funny, and probably even successful. They just aren't cocky about it.

So, pretty girls, please give these guys a chance. They may not live the most exciting lives right now. They may not drive the fastest cars, but they are going to be great fathers to your kids and great boyfriends to you. Who knows, they might even make a great husband who you can take those cute Instagram wedding pictures with.

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Sex & Relationships |  Source: lovielimes.com

My High School Boyfriend and I Go to the Same University and That's OK

You're not "settling," you're in love.

Every senior in high school who's in a serious relationship and has goals of going to a college out of state has had the same question: What happens to my relationship? My boyfriend and I met in high school and made the collective decision to go to community college in our town for a year and then transfer out of state.

Everyone thinks we're crazy, that "we won't last," or are "too young to know what we want." But the truth is, we know exactly what we're doing, and we're not crazy, just in love. Here's what I learned (and am still learning) about why this isn't a bad thing.

You have someone to experience a new life with.
New date ideas, new restaurants to try, even new places to go grocery shopping. It's all a little more exciting when your SO is there with you to partake in these new adventures. You have enough fun, new things to try every night of the week for the entire Fall semester, why not go live a little?

You have someone to hang out with before you meet all your future BFFs.
Going to college in a new town, whether it's 15 minutes away or 1,500 miles away, it can be scary especially when you're on your own. Moving over a thousand miles away with my beau has eased the pain of wondering if I'll meet new friends right away or find a club to fit into, because I know we have each other until things fall into place. I'm not saying friends aren't important, because they are, but until you find your groove, you'll have at least one person by your side.

He's always there to calm you down when you're stressing about your classes.
As much as we hate to admit it, we all need a break when you're up for 35 hours straight and hyped up on energy drinks while trying to finish the last few thousand assignments we procrastinated and have to turn in by midnight. My boyfriend is always there to calm me down and give me a proofread on that paper, or to help me out with flashcards last minute. Not only does he help me get through, but he also knows when to pull me away just in time to make the stress migraine subside for a little while longer.

You learn things about each other you wouldn't learn until later.
Like how he eats in his sleep when he's super stressed, or how excited he gets when he talks about Anatomy and Physiology (ick), or even when he says he doesn't like to read but he goes into a bookstore one day and picks out something he thinks he'll like. Sometimes it's the little things we learn about each other that keep us going strong.

You know he's down for adventure, anytime.
He's already packed away from his family and moved across the country to start a new life with you, so you already know he's in it for good. What next? A puppy? A soul-seeking adventure in Bora Bora over the summer? Anywhere your extra student loans or your combined birthday/Christmas money from the year can take you, you know you'd be able to do it. Once you grow some balls, that is, because dreaming of it is the first step to doing it.

When you're 20-something and feel like you've found your soulmate, nothing should keep you apart. I'm literally the only girl I know who's been with her boyfriend since junior year of high school and who plans to go to the same college out of state as him.

Some people might think one of us is settling, but why is wanting to be with the love of your life settling? We have goals, and we're achieving them, together. And that's okay. Everyone deserves a chance at a love like this, whether you're at the same college or not.