The Beginner's Guide To Being A Third Wheel
It doesn't have to get awkward.
Relationships are lovely things... for the people involved. For the other people, it can get a bit awkward. Whether your bestie started dating a mutual friend or someone you've never seen before, you're probably going to start feeling like a third wheel when you're all together. Here's a handy guide for when a trio turns into a couple... plus a third wheel.
1. Carry on with life as usual.
It's a relationship, not a death sentence. Your friends are not going to die, you are not going to die, and your friendship most certainly will not die. Things will probably change, but not drastically. Continue on with your usual life. Keep up with your weekly study sessions, your weekend get-togethers, and your set-in-stone mealtimes. Things are going to be alright.
2. Don't let it get awkward.
Don't constantly wink at the couple, don't make odd sexual comments every time they go off alone, and please don't stay nearby when they're doing... couple stuff. (See the final tip) Like the last tip said, continue with your normal life. Now is not the time to be the creepy, awkward friend.
3. Don't get salty.
As a single third-wheel, you might feel a little frustrated or jealous. "Why are they in a relationship, and not you? Why do they always have to be so... cute?" Don't let thoughts like these enter your head for two reasons. First, you don't want to hurt your friendship, and second, you don't need negative thoughts like that in your life.
4. Talk to them.
If there's something bothering you (be it about being the third wheel or feeling uncomfortable around all of their PDA,) you should totally tell them. Don't keep things bottled up. Your friends still care about you. You could talk to them before, and you can definitely talk to them now.
5. Know when to give them space.
Pick up on the hints. If they're being very flirty or very touchy, maybe you should give them a bit of alone time. While it's cool to be a third wheel at a sporting event or dance, there are some times when you probably don't want to be there with them. This is one of them. Abandon ship, ASAP.
Try following these tips next time you find yourself as the third wheel. Just carry on as usual and live your life.
Calling All High School Seniors
Wait, you have to do work in college too?
I don't know if you've been told yet but the end is near, and by 'the end' I mean high school. It's time to face facts, there's more to the world than high school drama. Trust me, that bubble you've been living in is about to get violently popped. No worries though, I'm sure the air is a lot more suitable than that soapy consistency you've gotten used to.
First thing's first, college is nothing like high school. Not only are you taking classes there, but you're literally living at school. Welcome home! With that being said, it is a cultural shock. You will get homesick. There will be times when all you want is to do is be a kid again. As long as you embrace that fact now, you won't be as surprised when you get punched in the face with a ton of nostalgia.
Another difference is the size. Even if it's considered to be a small college, it's still a lot bigger than your average high school. With that added size comes the distance that a high school lacks. Which diminishes the ability for cliques to be as noticeable and as "clique-y." If you think that you're going to graduate as Regina George and be Regina George in college, you're horribly mistaken.
There are no teachers in college, there are only professors. What does that mean, you ask? It means that in college, the professors will get paid whether you pass or fail. This is where accountability comes in. You are fully responsible for your grades and everything else that you do. YOU have to make sure that papers are turned in. YOU have to make sure that you've studied. YOU have to make sure that you understand your class.
This is your future, therefore, it's your responsibility and it rests in your hands. Be careful. SHOW UP TO CLASS. I know it's tempting to stay in bed, because technically you have that choice, but trust me, that extra sleep is not worth it. Not when it comes to your GPA. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Like I said before, the professor gets paid regardless of your grade, so grow some balls and raise your hand. I guarantee that there's someone else who's asking themselves the very same question, so just go ahead and help a fellow student out.
Lastly, let's talk about parties. I know it can be really easy to turn up every weekend, and I know that the idea of partaking in things that you aren't legally allowed to partake in seems a lot more fascinating than sitting in a class preparing for a future that adds dollar signs to your bank account, but you have responsibilities. There's a strong possibility that if you party every weekend you're neglecting your responsibilities and will end up flunking out of college and living in your parents basement. It's okay to have fun, but remember that there's a fine balance between work and play.
So, just to reiterate, your freedom is in the palm of your hand. Neither your parents nor your teachers have shoved this choice down your throat. It's time to be an adult. Procrastination really does kill your GPA and your bank account (college tuition is hella expensive). Money is never easily accessible, so please don't spend it all on illegal substances.
Oh and one more thing, diversity is a real thing, not just something you see on television, so get ready for those who speak, look, and believe differently than you. All in all, college is an amazingly euphoric and self-assessing place, no need to worry about it! It's a big transition that we all have to go through.
10 Benefits of Bringing Your High School Relationship to College
As if great sex isn't enough of a reason to stay with your SO.
You rarely hear your friends mention any benefits of staying in their high school relationship through college, but you always hear their worries and complaints. These complaints are valid and probably accurate at the time, but when you look at the big picture you see the true benefits of staying in your relationship.
You have a piece of home to hold onto.
College is exciting, but it can also be scary at the beginning. You're thrown into a new place with new people and you're all alone. In my case, I moved to a big city and went to a school with nobody from my high school. Staying in my relationship gave me something from home. It was comforting to have someone who knew everything about me that I knew I could completely trust.
You avoid being a thot.
A huge benefit that goes unnoticed. I watched some of my closest friends hook up with boys and do things when they were blackout that they really regretted. The amount of times I had to bring them clothes and pick them up at boys houses the morning after was incalculable. Sure, I did a lot of stupid things and got a few of injuries when I was drunk, but none of them included hooking up with a teammate's boyfriend, waking up next to a boy at a completely different school, or getting STDs (yikes).
You have time to do your work.
Not having your boyfriend or girlfriend at the same school makes it easier for you to get a lot more work done because you're able to focus on your schoolwork without having to deal with one of the biggest distractions ever. Seeing my friends study with their boyfriends or guys that they're talking to is cute and all, but they end up complaining about how they still have to work on that problem set or essay because their study session turned into a hookup session.
You become a hella good friend and wingman or woman.
Without constantly dealing with the drama of trying to find a boyfriend, I realized how much of a good friend I became. I had SO much time for my friends and was able to be there for them through a lot of tough shit. I became a dependable friend they could go to for advice and a great wing woman at bars or at parties, for both my guy and girl friends.
You won't get sick of each other.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Not breathing down each other's necks and allowing each other to grow and live apart is healthy. In fact, it was really good for my relationship. It just proved that we were happy to be with each other despite everything. I never got sick of him, instead I replaced that feeling with just missing him. I would rather miss him rather than be annoyed with him any day.
Another benefit that goes unnoticed. My boyfriend mentioned to me how much money on food he saved while we were away at college. He's a finance major and I really love food (lol), and to his disdain, I ended up draining his bank account pretty quickly. I didn't buy him random things as much as I did in the summer or when we were in high school because I didn't really think it was a priority anymore. What mattered more was me getting to see him in general.
Not only do you have your new friends at your new school, but you also have his. Visiting and facetiming you SO gives you the opportunity to befriend and meet new people. One of my best guy friends has his girlfriend visit our school often and her and I have grown closer with each visit. When I visit my boyfriend's school, I meet new people and form new friendships too.
Avoiding the shitty college hookup scene.
I've watched my best friends cry over how shitty the boys are in college and how they feel like they can't find anyone. No guy wants to commit, despite wanting consistent hookups. I watch boys toy around with my friends and lead them on. People always ask me if I get bored or want to hook up with other people and I have to say I just don't see the appeal. Maybe I'm just weird.
The sex is always great.
I am completely comfortable with my SO and he knows what I like, which takes time and trust. Why burn through a bunch of people trying to find great sex when you already have it? Not only do I not trust any of the boys at my school, but colleges are also home to STDs and boys who don't know what they're doing in bed. I'll pass, thanks though.
You have an unwavering support system.
He's stuck by me through my awkward teenage years and already dealt with meeting my parents. He's calmed me down with my psycho rampages where I question everything I'm doing with my life or when I've questioned our relationship. He's been witness to all my successes and failures and always been there for me to lean on. His support is truly unrivaled and without it, I don't know where I would be.
Tales from a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
It's funny until it happens to you.
You know when you're really overprotective and you care so much that your SO calls you "psycho" but really you prefer to just refer to yourself as "caring"... regardless, here are five traits that are sure to get you put on the "psycho" list (even if they are all relatively common):
You get caught looking over his shoulder too often...
...which confuses me because you could just as easily catch me reading a total stranger's text fight with their boyfriend in line at the coffee shop. But apparently in a relationship, your nose belongs to yourself and not in your SO's phone screen.
If he doesn't say babe, does he even still love you?
He says babe in every good morning text and the first time he doesn't you're convinced that he must've found someone else and his love for you is over. In reality, he woke up two seconds before he had to leave and typed out as much as he could before running to class.
What's a "love you" without the I in front?
The "I" in I love you completely changes the game, and if your SO even dares to leave that very significant word out, they'll never hear the end of it. "Who loves me?!" is a question that comes out of your mouth far too often.
You're hot then you're cold.
One minute you're yelling his head off, the next you're giving him head. But ya know what they say, make up sex is the best sex.
You could have a career in stalking.
You always see when he follows someone new or gets a new follower. Just because he follows someone or someone follows him doesn't mean he finds them attractive. Look at your own follows list for proof. Except that VS model, even you think she's hot.
Jealousy is the best policy.
Just kidding, but you are pretty dang good at it. You get jealous when you see him talking to another girl or when you see someone constantly trying to get his attention. It's normal! Every guy thinks if they date someone new, the jealousy will go away, but it won't. It's just a sign of caring, really I promise.
Throwback to Season 1
Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.
I have this running joke with my current friend group where I refer to some of them as the, "Season 4," cast in my life. As I've graduated high school, entered college, and then got shuffled into my major, friends have come and gone.
Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.
So, Season 4, the season of my Maturity ArcTM, where I'm bravely forging ahead with my life, taking opportunities and preparing for life after graduation. Things are going good. Great, even. So, of course, there's gotta be a callback to my Origin ArcTM.
And that's when we start bringing back the Season 1 characters that we thought were out the door.
To put it less dramatically, a friend from high school came to visit me, and we had a really fun time. No awkward silences, no not really knowing what to say to each other, we just picked up from where we'd left off.
Being fairly out of touch with my graduating class, my time with them has kind of fuzzied out in my brain, but it took maybe an hour (and three beers) for it all to come back. The embarrassing stories, the inter-clique politics, the illicit romances.
God, high school was truly one of the most infuriating times of my life, but looking back on it after having graduated almost three years ago it all seems so funny. And past that, it was just so nice to have someone who's known me for so long back in my life for a night.
If you graduated and didn't look back then that was your decision. Burn those bridges, man. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. But laughing about all the dumb shit you did or saw is miles better with a beer and an old friend than it is by yourself.
The first season may be shittier than the rest, but hey, it's there for a reason.