Soft Athlete Of The Day: Duke's Mike Krzyzewski
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Soft Athlete Of The Day: Duke's Mike Krzyzewski

Welcome to Duke, where indefinite suspensions are only one game.

Time to talk about Duke!

So Coach K is taking a four-week absence for back surgery recovery starting Friday. But after the Elon game, Grayson Allen had been indefinitely suspended after tripping the fuck out of countless opponents while at Duke.

So, of course, after one game, Coach K reinstates Allen before Duke pounds the living shit out of Georgia Tech. Only makes sense, right?

This isn't really soft but it definitely pisses me off. You don't make a statement to a spoiled pussy like Allen by suspending him until you lose a game to a decent Virginia Tech team and reinstate him like a bitch. Sure, it's logical. But it's not going to get the point across to the basketball world that Duke doesn't tolerate scumbag behavior.

Clearly, Coach K was shitting himself when he announced his leave of absence and needs as much help as possible to get through ACC play while he's

Over the recent years, Coach K has had a few moments where it has become easy to hate the guy. He's been such an asshat to reporters in press conferences, and with yet another absence, it might be time for the "legend" to hang up the whistle.

He's 69, which is nice, but his program is becoming a weird combination of one-and-dones and the Christian Laettner era. Mikey's just continuing to rub us the wrong way, and could be losing some legacy respect in the process.

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Welcome To TruTV's Week Of Relevancy

Wait, what's TruTV?

TruTV. It's a channel, believe it or not. And besides airing the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament, I'm not sure what the fuck it does. According to brief research, TruTV serves as a Turner channel for comedy programming, although it can vary. But for this week in March ... prepare for the Tru(TV) Takeover.

First, you'll need to know what channel this godforsaken thing is on. No worries, I gotchu. Here's how to find TruTV for the larger cable providers ... If you're at work, or somewhere else, you can stream March Madness games on your phone or laptop with March Madness Live:

AT&T Uverse: Channel 164, Channel 1164 (HD)

Comcast/XFinity Cable -- Click HERE to search by zip code

DISH Network: Channel 149

DIRECTV: Channel 246 (HD)

Time Warner Cable -- Click HERE to search by zip code

Verizon FIOS: Channel 683 (HD)

Other than re-runs of Impractical Jokers, TruTV is literally one of the least relevant television channels besides this week. They've been airing March Madness games since 2011, and viewers annually destroy the channel ... but this year, it looks like TruTV has struck back:

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Social Media Destroys Duke After Loss

It wasn't pretty.

The Duke Blue Devils tore through the ACC tournament, winning four games in four days to become champions of the nation's toughest conference. They seemed to be a lock for a final four spot in Phoenix.

Yet, here we are with just 16 teams left vying for a title, and it seems arch-rival North Carolina has gotten the last laugh...

Duke's 88-81 loss to the seventh seeded South Carolina Gamecocks on Sunday night was something more people should've saw coming. The game was being played in Greeneville, SC making it practically a road contest for the Blue Devils. They struggled with the crowd noise on college basketball's biggest stage for most of the night.

Also, this is not the first time Duke has been knocked out of the tournament in the early stages. The Blue Devils are actually very vulnerable to upsets in March.

In 2012 and 2014, Duke was stunned by underdogs in Lehigh and Mercer. Both of these upsets came in the first round. However, for many college basketball followers the Blue Devils were too irresistible to pass up on. The reaction by most after the game...

The trolling didn't stop there. Social media decided to have a field day because of the Blue Devils blunder.

If your bracket happens to be busted because of this, I wouldn't sweat it. After all, the best part about March is the unpredictability. There is simply not a better script that could be written for such a hectic tournament. This time of year is magical and the games are just heating up.

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If Super Bowl Cities Were College Basketball Teams

As told by a completely biased Virginia fan.

By now I'm sure you've heard the news: the 2019, 2020, and 2021 Super Bowls are going to be held, respectively, in Atlanta, South Florida, and (go figure) Los Angeles.

What a surprise.

A bunch of old, rich white guys deciding to award the most watched sporting event in the United States to a bunch of warm cities that, frankly, could survive with or without the Super Bowl, just to stuff their fat-cat pockets. Why not give it to Jacksonville, huh? Or Cleveland? Okay maybe not Cleveland, but you get my point.

And that got me angry. And when I get angry, I think about other things that make me angry. And there's one thing that makes me angrier than anything else: college basketball.

And what better way to vent my frustration than by bashing both basketball teams I hate and cities I have absolutely no connection to by comparing the two? So get ready for the poison pen (or keyboard, I guess).

This could get ugly.

Atlanta? Hmmmmmm... you know what Atlanta, I really don't have anything bad to say about you. You seem like a great city, and the few people I know from Atlanta are pretty cool.

But you're kind of irrelevant right now. Especially in the realm of sports.

The Braves are currently tied for the worst record in the MLB at 12-34. The Falcons have been less than satisfactory for the past few seasons, and the Hawks...

The Hawks? There good in the win-loss column, but really? Who's excited about the Hawks? I mean, I love watching Kyle Korver hit threes just as much as the next guy, but the Hawks? Come on.

And that's why, Atlanta, you are the city-embodiment of the Virginia Tech Hokies.

Not great, not horrible. Just kind of there. Very Hokie-esque. And going even further, while Tech was, at one point, pretty good at sports in general (especially football) now they're just kind of, how do I put it... meh.

You had your sporty heyday, and now you basically just exist, and that's it.

Just like the Hokies.

South Florida (probably Miami)
You just think you're so great, don't you Miami?

This is, what, the 10th time you get to host the Super Bowl? Everything else just isn't enough for you?

The cars. The beaches. The food. Noooooo, you guys just want everything you can possibly get your hands on.

You keep suffocating the little man, Miami, taking and taking without regard to any of the other cities that haven't had the pleasure of hosting even half as many Super Bowls as you. And that's why you're the worst of the worst Miami, the epitome of evil.


Just like Duke absorbs the number one recruits in the country every year, you just absorb Super Bowls. You take from the little man and just look back with a smug grin on your face.

While other cities are desperately running towards Super Bowls to boost their fledgling economies, you just stick your leg out like Grayson Allen, make them faceplant, and then embrace it.

Damn you Miami. I thought you were better than this.


Los Angeles
Everybody know the story about how LA finally got their "beloved" Rams back, right?

No? Well here's a brief summary: one frugal, rich white guy got together with a bunch of other frugal, rich white guys and agreed to steal the Rams from St. Louis and bring them to the one place that old white guys might actually love even more than themselves: sunny Los Angeles, California.

Sound a little fishy to you? A little bit of rule-bending? Kind of like, dare I say it, collusion?

You don't even have a stadium yet, but you're already set to host a Super Bowl?

Typical LA! You think you can just have anything you want, even if it means depriving a hard-working, American city like St. Louis. And nobody cares because, let's face it: LA gets results. It's a great city and people love going there.

Hmmmm... kind of sounds like Syracuse.

Take some leniency with your drug testing, write a couple student papers, hand out some improper benefits here and there, take your punishment, and then just let everything get swept under the rug and forgotten about.

Then make a run in the NCAA tournament, beat my Cavaliers to make it to the Final Four (and make me cry), and all of a sudden, everything's back to normal.

Just like LA: steal a city's team in one of the most corrupt deals in NFL history, have your future owner tell some little white lies to the public, promise a massive stadium to make NFL owners happy, and now hope everything goes away because you're going to host the Super Bowl.

Way to go LA. Way. To. Go.

And before this is over, let me just leave you with one parting thought:

Duke sucks. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

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Duke's Early Exits From The NCAA Tournament In The Past Decade

They are very vulnerable in March.

While Duke's basketball program has had a lot of glory in the last decade, it has also had a lot of horrid defeats. They may seem pretty scary as a 2 seed this year, but let's look at history to remind us how susceptible Duke is to an early exit.

This year, Duke plays 15 seed Troy this Friday at 7:20 p.m. If Troy happens to pull the upset like a few 15 seeds have in the past, it will make the road to the Final Four significantly easier for Villanova, Baylor, Florida, and Virginia.

2014: A third seeded Duke team lost to 14 seed Mercer, 78-71. The Blue Devils went 26-9 (13-5 ACC) in 2014 and looked poised to do some damage as a 3 seed despite their loss to Virginia in the ACC Championship game.

However, they struggled against the 14 seed Mercer Bears and ended up losing 71-78 in a heartbreak game for the Blue Devils, but a game Mercer will never forget. This game busted about half of all remaining perfect NCAA brackets. Props to those who successfully picked Mercer.

2012: Second seeded Duke lost to 15 seed Lehigh, 75-70, in a year in which two 15 seeds upset 2 seeds, the other being Norfolk State over Missouri. In 2012, Duke went 27-7 (13-3 ACC). They began the year ranked first in the nation and remained there for nine weeks, at which point they were 15-0.

During this game, I was touring colleges and I happened to be in Chapel Hill. I remember watching the game at a restaurant bar with my dad. I had my eye on the game the entire night, but rushed up to the bar to watch the final couple of minutes with all of the UNC fans until Duke had fallen. I remember how crazy the Carolina fans were going to see their most hated rival lose to 15 seed Lehigh in a result almost nobody could have predicted.

2008: Second seeded Duke beat 15 seed Belmont by one then lost to the seven seed West Virginia, 73-67. While this is not a first round exit, it is still an early exit for the Blue Devils, which is pretty disappointing for a two seed with hopes of a championship.

Duke went 28-6 (13-3 ACC) this year and had hopes of a deep run, but after beating a 15 seed by a point, it would be tough to keep your hopes high, especially against a press heavy, havoc wreaking West Virginia squad. Whenever you read the headline "Duke escapes Belmont in first round of NCAA Tournament," you know they're not going too far.

2007: Sixth seeded Duke lost to 11 seed VCU, 79-77. While Duke was a six seed this year, they still had hopes of a good NCAA Tournament run.

The Blue Devils went 22-11 (8-8 ACC) in the 2006-2007 season, finishing sixth in the ACC. They had lost to NC State in overtime in the first round of the ACC Tournament and drew 11 seed VCU in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. It was a very close game ending in a two point loss for the Blue Devils and putting VCU's name in the spotlight.

While Duke is certainly expected to beat Troy this Friday, you never know what can happen in March, baby!

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Grayson Allen Is Now Rocking A "Don't Trip" Cap

Having a laugh about everything, or just being a douchebag?

In his freshman season at Duke, Grayson Allen was one of the biggest components in the Blue Devils' 2015 national championship game victory, scoring 16 of Duke's 68 points against Wisconsin. But all that has been thrown away due to Allen's repeated tripping incidents throughout his next two seasons on the college court.

So what does one of the more polarizing figures in college basketball (and that's being generous) do now? Have a new cap that pokes fun of the instances.

I would love to say this guy has a sense of humor, but wasn't he blowing up at teammates and crying a few months ago when he tripped someone during a game against Elon, an incident which got him stripped of his captaincy and suspended...for one game, thanks Coach K.

Allen has had a history of trouble on the court, despite all the praise he gets as a player. During the February of his sophomore season, he intentionally tripped a Louisville player, blew up in a ref's face and received a technical in the other Louisville game, and tripped FSU's Xavier Rathan-Mayes -- earning him a stern warning from the ACC.

Nothing much changed in his junior season, as he was known for the incident against Elon, as well as other things, including a possible intentional trip on Boston College's Connar Tava and a widely-debated "dirty play" against FSU assistant coach Dennis Gates.

I don't care if Allen is loved by Duke fans, or how good at basketball he is, or if he's put everything behind him and having a laugh. If he has put everything behind him, good. But don't just say it or have a laugh on it, show it.

Allen hasn't announced if he'll commit to Duke for his senior season or try to make it professionally. If I were him, I'd play a senior season -- that way he could truly show why he is supposedly one of the best college basketball players in the country and deserve to be picked in the NBA Draft.

It's better to be known for that than for being a massive dick.