Soft Athlete Of The Day: Duke's Mike Krzyzewski
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Soft Athlete Of The Day: Duke's Mike Krzyzewski

Welcome to Duke, where indefinite suspensions are only one game.

Time to talk about Duke!

So Coach K is taking a four-week absence for back surgery recovery starting Friday. But after the Elon game, Grayson Allen had been indefinitely suspended after tripping the fuck out of countless opponents while at Duke.

So, of course, after one game, Coach K reinstates Allen before Duke pounds the living shit out of Georgia Tech. Only makes sense, right?

This isn't really soft but it definitely pisses me off. You don't make a statement to a spoiled pussy like Allen by suspending him until you lose a game to a decent Virginia Tech team and reinstate him like a bitch. Sure, it's logical. But it's not going to get the point across to the basketball world that Duke doesn't tolerate scumbag behavior.

Clearly, Coach K was shitting himself when he announced his leave of absence and needs as much help as possible to get through ACC play while he's

Over the recent years, Coach K has had a few moments where it has become easy to hate the guy. He's been such an asshat to reporters in press conferences, and with yet another absence, it might be time for the "legend" to hang up the whistle.

He's 69, which is nice, but his program is becoming a weird combination of one-and-dones and the Christian Laettner era. Mikey's just continuing to rub us the wrong way, and could be losing some legacy respect in the process.

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If Super Bowl Cities Were College Basketball Teams

As told by a completely biased Virginia fan.

By now I'm sure you've heard the news: the 2019, 2020, and 2021 Super Bowls are going to be held, respectively, in Atlanta, South Florida, and (go figure) Los Angeles.

What a surprise.

A bunch of old, rich white guys deciding to award the most watched sporting event in the United States to a bunch of warm cities that, frankly, could survive with or without the Super Bowl, just to stuff their fat-cat pockets. Why not give it to Jacksonville, huh? Or Cleveland? Okay maybe not Cleveland, but you get my point.

And that got me angry. And when I get angry, I think about other things that make me angry. And there's one thing that makes me angrier than anything else: college basketball.

And what better way to vent my frustration than by bashing both basketball teams I hate and cities I have absolutely no connection to by comparing the two? So get ready for the poison pen (or keyboard, I guess).

This could get ugly.

Atlanta? Hmmmmmm... you know what Atlanta, I really don't have anything bad to say about you. You seem like a great city, and the few people I know from Atlanta are pretty cool.

But you're kind of irrelevant right now. Especially in the realm of sports.

The Braves are currently tied for the worst record in the MLB at 12-34. The Falcons have been less than satisfactory for the past few seasons, and the Hawks...

The Hawks? There good in the win-loss column, but really? Who's excited about the Hawks? I mean, I love watching Kyle Korver hit threes just as much as the next guy, but the Hawks? Come on.

And that's why, Atlanta, you are the city-embodiment of the Virginia Tech Hokies.

Not great, not horrible. Just kind of there. Very Hokie-esque. And going even further, while Tech was, at one point, pretty good at sports in general (especially football) now they're just kind of, how do I put it... meh.

You had your sporty heyday, and now you basically just exist, and that's it.

Just like the Hokies.

South Florida (probably Miami)
You just think you're so great, don't you Miami?

This is, what, the 10th time you get to host the Super Bowl? Everything else just isn't enough for you?

The cars. The beaches. The food. Noooooo, you guys just want everything you can possibly get your hands on.

You keep suffocating the little man, Miami, taking and taking without regard to any of the other cities that haven't had the pleasure of hosting even half as many Super Bowls as you. And that's why you're the worst of the worst Miami, the epitome of evil.


Just like Duke absorbs the number one recruits in the country every year, you just absorb Super Bowls. You take from the little man and just look back with a smug grin on your face.

While other cities are desperately running towards Super Bowls to boost their fledgling economies, you just stick your leg out like Grayson Allen, make them faceplant, and then embrace it.

Damn you Miami. I thought you were better than this.


Los Angeles
Everybody know the story about how LA finally got their "beloved" Rams back, right?

No? Well here's a brief summary: one frugal, rich white guy got together with a bunch of other frugal, rich white guys and agreed to steal the Rams from St. Louis and bring them to the one place that old white guys might actually love even more than themselves: sunny Los Angeles, California.

Sound a little fishy to you? A little bit of rule-bending? Kind of like, dare I say it, collusion?

You don't even have a stadium yet, but you're already set to host a Super Bowl?

Typical LA! You think you can just have anything you want, even if it means depriving a hard-working, American city like St. Louis. And nobody cares because, let's face it: LA gets results. It's a great city and people love going there.

Hmmmm... kind of sounds like Syracuse.

Take some leniency with your drug testing, write a couple student papers, hand out some improper benefits here and there, take your punishment, and then just let everything get swept under the rug and forgotten about.

Then make a run in the NCAA tournament, beat my Cavaliers to make it to the Final Four (and make me cry), and all of a sudden, everything's back to normal.

Just like LA: steal a city's team in one of the most corrupt deals in NFL history, have your future owner tell some little white lies to the public, promise a massive stadium to make NFL owners happy, and now hope everything goes away because you're going to host the Super Bowl.

Way to go LA. Way. To. Go.

And before this is over, let me just leave you with one parting thought:

Duke sucks. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

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Duke Athletes in Rio 2016

Who from Durham helps make up Team USA this summer?

The 2016 Summer Olympic games are finally upon us. Team USA is finally set and ready to head to Brazil to compete in the games. But who are the athletes on Team USA this year?

Here are the five athletes from Duke who qualified and are headed to Rio:

Kyrie Irving, Basketball

A photo posted by Kyrie Irving (@kyrieirving) on

Abby Johnston, Diving
Ibtihaj Muhammad, Fencing

Stefanie Fee, Field Hockey
Shannon Rowbury, Track & Field

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NCAA Tournament Week 2: Highlights/Lowlights

And then there were four.

1. Worst lie: Mike Krzyzewski, lying about scolding Oregon's Dillon Brooks
Let's start with the biggest, dumbest, silliest part of the weekend.

In Oregon's Sweet 16 win over Duke, the Ducks' Dillon Brooks hit an unnecessary but harmless three-pointer very late in a game that had been decided in Oregon's favor.

Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski didn't appreciate it.

From ESPN's Myron Medcalf, Oregon's Dillon Brooks said Krzyzewski told him that he's "too good of a player to be showing off at the end."

Did you, Coach K?

"I didn't say that," Krzyzewski said after the game. "You can say whatever you want. Dillon Brooks is a hell of a player. I said, 'You're a terrific player.' And you can take whatever he said and then go with it, all right?"

Now, lying to a reporter is a bad idea. Reporters at live sporting events are generally tenacious in getting to the bottom of a hot story, especially when they're called out in front of their peers.

So this was a bad look for Coach K.

But, even worse, Krzyzewski thought he could pull one over on the internet.

If you've been on any corner of the internet in the last five years -- especially any portion of Sports Twitter -- you know that this is impossible.

There were cameras present, which means there were microphones present, which means the internet would eventually find one of those microphones, play the audio in a Vine, and spoil Krzyzewski's totally unnecessary lie.

So the coach apologized.

A couple of lessons: stop taking things so seriously, and don't lie to the Internet.

2. Best dunk of the weekend: Jake Layman of Maryland
Let's get the taste of that silly Coach K debacle out of our collective mouths with something entirely more enjoyable: Maryland's Jake Layman throwing it down (in a loss, but still.)


3. Best comeback: Syracuse upends Virginia on Sunday
This came too late in the weekend for us to really, truly relish it, but what Syracuse did against Virginia, engineering a comeback of elephantine proportions, was nearly unfathomable.

No team had made Virginia's stingy defense look so utterly hopeless all season long. And here, with the stakes so high?

It was transcendent.

Trailing by 15 midway through the second half, Syracuse seemed effectively resigned to falling victim to the Cavaliers' armor. It would have been understandable; Tony Bennett's team was a defensive stalwart all year.

Instead, the Orange ripped off a 24-5 run that flipped the script and lifted Cuse into the Final Four.

Here, with a little help from the official March Madness Twitter, is how it happened:

To make this even more incredible, Syracuse was considered by many to be a fringe participant in this year's tournament. Experts believed they had no right taking the place of a team like Monmouth.

After all, Syracuse lost 13 games this season. It was a fair argument.

Now, Jim Boeheim and the Orange are one of four teams left standing. It's kind of incredible.

4. Worst use of a final timeout: Mike Brey against North Carolina
With just over eight minutes left in the second half of Sunday's Elite 8 matchup with North Carolina, Notre Dame head coach Mike Brey used his fourth timeout.

He wanted to calm his team down, get a grasp of what they were doing offensively, and set something up.

The only problem? That was his final timeout. Of the game.

With over eight minutes to play.


When the Irish gave up baskets on nearly a half-dozen consecutive possessions late in the second half, Brey might have wanted to call a timeout to slow things down and get his team back on the same page.

But, of course, he couldn't. He was out of timeouts. So he stood, helpless, on the sideline, scratching his face, watching his team's chances slip away.

Oh, Mike.

5. Best Vine-able moment of the tournament: Maryland's rim-out
This is art of the highest degree, the greatest use of six seconds your eyes will ever watch.

I don't need many words here.

It was this kind of Thursday for Maryland as the Terrapins lost to Kansas.

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Grayson Allen Sucks

He deserved to be suspended.

Grayson Allen probably lost a lot of fans last night.

The Duke Blue Devils junior guard might be one of the top players in college basketball but in a game against Elon, anyone watching probably couldn't care less about that. Their attention is more likely on his inexcusable actions. In case you missed it -- or if you just want to see it again, here it is.

Yeah. Umm. You can't really do that. In case you were wondering what that was, here's the best song to describe it.

It wasn't a technical foul and he did not get kicked out of the game, like he should have. So what did he do? Blow up at the guys on his own bench and his coaches.

Oh, and then after the game he was sad.

You can only imagine the look of excitement on ESPN's face when they saw this too. They probably needed something to fill the 30 minutes of SportsCenter where they're not allowed to talk about LeBron James and here it is.

Seriously though, Grayson needs to be suspended or something. Guys can't just go around blatantly tripping one another. That's how people get hurt.

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ACC, SEC and Big East Basketball Betting Guide

Basketball season is for betting.

If you're a degenerate gambler like me, then you've come to the right place. With the season finally getting ready to tip off, I'm gonna be your guide to betting on college basketball from now all the way through One Shining Moment.
For now, here's the plan: I'll be posting twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays. Monday posts will take a look at the lines for Monday and Tuesday games--of course my "best bets" will be included--and will try to give insight into the Wednesday/Thursday slate, although lines probably won't be posted yet. Then on Friday I'll do a deep dive into the weekend action, along with anything that jumps out to me from the Friday schedule.
But before we're ready to dive in with my take on this season's conference title races, let's establish two things. First, and I can't stress this one enough, betting on college basketball is just a stupid thing to do. Whatever damage it'll surely do to your wallet will pale in comparison to what you'll lose in the sanity department. But I'm sure you're a lot like me and already know all this, yet still just can't get enough of the action.
The second thing you need to know is that although I'm a "gambling expert" in that I'm certainly very experienced, I don't really win that much. Like I said, I'm just a degenerate. So I'll keep track of how my picks do throughout the season, but all they'll represent are my takes. Whether you choose to take my picks or fade them, don't expect too much from me. But hopefully we can all make some money and have some fun over the course of what should be another great college hoops season!
Without further ado, let me get into the first part of my conference previews:
Favorite: Duke (-125)
Contenders: North Carolina (+200), Louisville (+250), Syracuse (+725), Virginia (+725)
Dark Horse: North Carolina State (+3500)
This pick comes with an important caveat: if you're a fan of Duke or any team in the "contenders" category, bet on them. All five of those teams have their flaws, but they also all have a legitimate shot to win the ACC.
Duke is the most talented team in the country, UNC and Louisville bring back the majority of two Final Four-caliber teams, Syracuse looks good enough that Jim Boeheim has actually been positive, and Tony Bennett will keep doing Tony Bennett things in Charlottesville.
But while the ACC champion is likely to come from that group of five, I just don't quite see the value in betting on any of them. Plus, who the hell wants to be forced to root for Duke all year? So that's why the bet I would make is on North Carolina State at the generously long odds of +3500.
Why would I place a bet knowing I'll probably never get my money back? Fun, that's why! (Plus, value. I'm fairly confident they're the sixth-best team in the ACC yet only four teams have longer odds). This NC State team is young, athletic, and can shoot the rock. Abdul-Malik Abu and Beejay Anya are back manning the middle, Maverick Rowan has potential to be a 20ppg scorer on the wing, and transfer Torin Dorn had a productive freshman campaign at Charlotte.
But of course, the real reason to pick the Wolfpack is the tandem of potential lottery picks it welcomes into the fold: Dennis Smith Jr. and Omer Yurtseven. You may never have heard of these two, but you will soon.
If you haven't seen Dennis Smith highlights before, I forbid you from reading the rest of this paragraph until you skip down and watch the video below. This kid might be the most electric player in college basketball and the first pick in the NBA Draft.
Oh, and Yurtseven scored 91 points in a game this summer representing his home country of Turkey. There's a distinct scenario in which these two diaper dandies capture the hearts of college basketball and topple the ACC, and If/when it happens, it'll be a whole lot of fun to be on the right side of it.
Favorite: Kentucky (-325)
Contenders: Arkansas (+250), Georgia (+450), Texas A&M (+600), South Carolina (+725)
Dark Horse: N/A
The Bet: KENTUCKY (Rothstein Cast Away)
Now I know I said betting on a team at -300 doesn't make any sense. So why am I willing to bet on another team at -325? Well, that would be because the SEC is completely devoid of the "strong programs, coaches, and players" that occupy the Big 12. I'm comfortable paying to bet on Kentucky not so much due to their talent--of which they once again have plenty--but moreso because of the lack of a serious challenger for the top spot. The Wildcats' dominance over the rest of the SEC even drew a Cast Away reference from the legend himself.
Ken Pomeroy ranks Kentucky fourth in the country. He has just two other SEC programs in the top 50. Bet on the Wildcats and enjoy cashing in that ticket come March.
Big East
Favorite: Villanova (-325)
Contenders: Xavier (+200), Seton Hall (+450), Georgetown (+725), Creighton (+900)
Dark Horse: Creighton (+900) (third best team in conference, Doo Wop/Foster)
The Bet: Xavier (value, really close to Nova)
Full disclosure: I'm a die-hard Villanova fan. It pains me to pick against the Wildcats here. But these odds are just ridiculous. Think about it like this: the defending champs (I still love saying it) have the same odds to win the Big East as Kentucky does to win the SEC. Kentucky is arguably a better team than Villanova, and Xavier would be favored by at least a few points on a neutral floor against any non-Kentucky team in the SEC.
You might still think of Xavier as a mid-major good for a Sweet 16 run every now and then. But this is a program that is legitimately on the rise and is on the verge of solidifying itself as a national power.
Trevon Blueitt is back to get buckets from the outside, Edmond Sumner might be the best point guard in the conference (see above), and though do-everything senior Myles Davis is currently suspended indefinitely, it looks as though he should be back for conference play. I still think Villanova returns the slightly superior squad, but these teams are really evenly matched, far more so than the odds would suggest.
While I recommend backing Xavier heavily, it wouldn't be a bad idea to wager a small amount on Creighton as well as a slight hedge. The conference's midwestern outpost, the Blue Jays may lack the sexiness of Big East stalwarts like Georgetown and Seton Hall, but led by the conference's best backcourt, Creighton should be just behind 'Nova and Xavier in any preseason rankings.
Point guard Maurice Watson Jr. might be the best college basketball you've never heard of, and Kansas State transfer Marcus Foster is ready to start getting buckets again after sitting out all last season. We all know guard play wins in college basketball, and if one of the favorites stumbles for whatever reason, Greg McDermott's backcourt could be right there to seize the opportunity.