Reconnecting With High School Friends
College Life |  Source: @christinacorso

Reconnecting With High School Friends

Do you really need to see how they're doing after all this time?

There are some friends that last forever... and then there are some that you lose contact with immediately after high school ends.

You might be tempted to reconnect when you're back in town, whether you're only home for the holidays, or home for good, but honestly...

I wouldn't recommend it.

You probably drifted apart for a reason.
Maybe their personality just didn't mesh well with yours, maybe they were actually having a toxic influence on your life, maybe you just didn't have the same life goals. Even the best of friends can have differences that drive them apart.

It's highly likely that you can find a friend who meshes better with you and is actually in the same city. You're in university, have some faith.

Distance can put serious strain on relationships.
It becomes a bit of a hassle to maintain a long-distance relationship of any kind. This really depends on your personality, though; if you think that you can maintain a long-distance friendship without being seriously stressed out about hidden meaning in text messages and when you can make time to head back to your hometown to hang out, then go for it.

I know from experience that I can't do that. When I moved, I had a relatively new boyfriend. Less than two months later, I was happily single.

This one does become a non-issue if you've permanently moved back to your hometown.

They may have changed (or not).
When I was home for winter break, I met up with a guy I hung out with a lot in high school. He'd always been a negative person, which seriously clashed with me, because I'm really positive, and he would always try to bring me down (intentionally or just because it was in his nature, I don't know).

My thought was that maybe he'd just really hated high school, and in adult life he would have a more positive outlook.

Oh, how wrong I was. He was still negative, and although he seemed to show remorse for some of the things that he'd said to me in the past, he said some seriously downer stuff during our hour and half of chatting.

On the opposite side of this, it's very possible that your ex-bestie has gotten in with a completely different crowd or taken up a new religion, especially if you're trying to reconnect once you're done with university. They're probably not the same person you knew in high school.

This can sometimes be a good thing if you didn't mesh well in high school, or it could be bad if the old dynamic is completely ruined, but either way, you have to take it into account, along with the fact that...

You've changed too.
I've gone through one single semester of university, and I feel like a completely different person than I was in high school. I can't be sure of how different I actually am, but just my opinion that I'm different than I was reminds me that I probably couldn't be friends with certain people now.

Think about how much changes in four years for both of you. It's ultimately up to you to decide whether or not reconnecting is a good idea, but remember to keep these things in mind and give it a lot of thought before it potentially blows up in your face.

I know that for me, I'm going to be taking this approach to the high school friends I lost touch with:

No regrets.

Image Alt
College Life |  Source: @RachelAnne

The Dissipation Of The High School Friend Group

As we go on, we remember, all the times we, had together...

There comes a time in every young collegiate's life that a great schism is made. The shift when your dorm floor cohabitants or suite-mates are the ones lighting up your phone at all hours of the day rather than those og hometown homies who used to know every detail of your life, your locker combo, and where you'd be every minute between eight and 2:30.

During the beginnings of freshman year they were still there to share the intricacies of your new lives and exchange stories of your first times getting fucked up without each other. But as the weeks became months, and maybe even years at this point, they no longer were the people you dished the deets to after a wild night out or rough breakup.

Constant contact shifts to random bursts of news every so often detailing a new relationship or summer plans. But this parting of ways is only natural when you go from seeing each other every day since kindergarten to once a semester if all of your breaks happen to line up.

And while this dissipation can be disheartening, there's nothing to say it has to be.

Friends will come in and out of our lives through each phase we go through. The high school squad was exactly who you needed as an angsty budding adolescent looking for companions to share your first sips of alcohol and last school dances with. And now you'll meet and surround yourself with friends who will foster the person you'll be in college when you're experiencing the most stress and probably alcohol consumption in your life. There's no reason to say friends from either cohort won't remain in your life for years to come, but if they don't that's okay, too.

All in all, the breakdown of a friend group does not mean loss of friends. Anyone who's organized a so much as a birthday dinner knows it can be nearly impossible to organize a group of people, and being dispersed across the coast or country doesn't make it any easier. But this difficulty will only stand to clarify the friends who mean the most to you and who you want to take the time to foster the relationship with. It will be clear who values your friendship even when it means putting in a little extra elbow grease.

So if the hometown group chat isn't blowing up like it used to, or if you're not even sure what your friends are majoring in, there's no need to panic. Friends will ebb and flow, and while they may not be the most prominent factor in your life right now at school, you'll always be there for each other when you come home.

Image Alt
College Life |  Source: lifehack.org

How to Stay Close with Your High School BFF in College

FaceTime can be so crucial.

Thousands of miles will separate you and your BFF, along with busy class schedules, finding your way around campus and trying to find your new group of friends, but you believe nothing will be able to change your cherished relationship with your best friend. You call each other "my person" and believe your friendship resembles that of Meredith Grey and Christina Yang from Grey's Anatomy.

While it may seem easy at first to keep that dialogue alive, trust me, it gets harder. They see you less and soon you are going away on vacations during breaks with your new college posse and you find yourself drifting even though they are often on your mind. Soon you find yourself tagging them in random hilarious Instagrams, instead of actually speaking to them. Here are some things to do in order to continue your unbreakable bond.

FaceTime with them weekly.
Come up with a time or day during the week that works well for both of you. Sometimes it is hard when you guys are in different time zones, schedules and locations. Seeing them once a week will make all the difference.

Make future plans that both of you could look forward to.
My best friend and I are planning to go abroad together, although we haven't physically seen each other in eight months. I know, it seems like a long distance relationship, and it is. The fact that you know you are going to have that time with them makes not seeing them that much easier.

Go and visit them.
There is nothing quite like seeing your hometown BFF at her new stomping grounds. You get to see how she has changed due to her new surroundings, but you can also meet the great new people she's made friends with so that you don't feel left out. All my best friends have visited me and it makes the long amount of separation seem like they never existed in the first place!

No excuses.
If they text you and you forget to respond that day, don't make up silly excuses as to why you didn't respond. Just tell them you completely forgot or have been extremely busy. If you lie, this will create a snowball effect. And remember, quality over quantity. It isn't about how many random meaningless texts you send throughout the day, but more so about finding out what is actually going on in their life once a week.

Relate to them.
Going to different colleges means different experiences, but also has the same feeling of unknowingness. Boy trouble, friend drama, exclusion, abundance of school work, hard decisions, potential internships or trips...There are still tons of common interests the two of you share and you can help each other by relating to one another and making them feel better.

Image Alt
College Life |  Source: aedesnoyers.wordpress.com

How to Keep Your Sanity While Sleeping in Your High School Bedroom

You mom will barge in and you will get mad.

Moving back home for the summer is such a weird step backwards. It's like you're independent all year, and then you go back to living in a house with rules, chores, and old people. Oh, and you have to get a job. Before you think things couldn't get any worse, remind yourself of a few things.

There won't be many summers left at your childhood home.
And though you might not feel like you care right at this moment, it'll hit you hard when the day finally comes. So enjoy the presence and familiarity of your own home. The real world tends to suck.

It's not forever, only three months.
So don't get used to having your mom do your laundry and meals being ready on the table. And also take advantage of long showers while you can, 'cause you know your water bill does not agree with that in college.

Consider the alternative.
It could be worse. Personally, I'd rather be surrounded by my family than live alone in a college town for three months with nearly everybody gone.

Remember that your parents miss this part of their lives.
They'll bask in what it feels like to have you home for that long of a time, and they'll do things that they used to do because they honestly miss taking care of you. Don't take that for granted.

Still have nights out.
If at all possible, it is totally OK to meet up with some old or new friends and do what you would usually do on a Saturday night in college. You might have a curfew (LOL), but at least you're still living it up a little bit.

Enjoy the absence of classes and studying!
Seriously, summer tends to feel like the most amazing time for college students. In high school, summers were relatively short, and there was still summer reading and sports to do. In college, you get a giant, three month break to just chill and make money at your job. It's pretty laid back and lucky, so don't complain.

And if you honestly can't keep it together, just keep reminding yourself that you will soon be back in college where you're untamed, and rather reckless. Funnnn.

Image Alt
College Life | 

The Five F's to be F'ing Thankful for This Thanksgiving

Why not go in for seconds? And no, we're not talking about turkey.

1. Family
If you're like me, the last words you uttered to your mother as she tried not to break down in front of you some three months ago when she dropped you off at school were "See you at Thanksgiving!" (Hopefully there have been a few phone calls between now and then.)

Well, that time has come. Now you can sit back, be surrounded by people who want nothing more than to hang on your every word, and tell you (rightfully so) how smart and talented and beautiful you're getting. And when having a curfew and living under mom and dad's rules again starts to cramp your style, just remember that you only get to be with your family for a few days over the holidays, and these people are putting you through college, so be a little grateful. So indulge them when they ask you about how your roommate is for the 70th time. And spare them the details about holding her hair back.

2. Friends
Sure, first semester is full of meeting new people, but three months is nowhere near enough time to build those friendships that will be waiting for you at home this holiday season. Maybe you didn't do the greaaatest job of keeping in touch, I mean, hey, you had a new life to start! So Thanksgiving is the time to get the first inside scoop on what your friends have been up to without your ever-so-insightful advice or shoulder to cry on. Be thankful for these gals who took you in when you had braces and sported those layered A?ropostale tanks--Because if you don't put in the effort now, they could be out of your life as soon as the leftovers are gone.

3. (Old) Flings
The leaves have changed, a light snow is falling, the Thanksgiving Day football game is on TV, and something about your ex wrapped in that scarf you bought him last Christmas has you wondering why you broke up in the first place. So why not go in for seconds? The most fun hookups are the ones that you know you shouldn't be doing--but this time, no harm no "fowl." You'll be hopping the next flight on Sunday morning, and any possible regret will be erased from memory as soon as you're resurrected from your food coma.

4. First times
If the ex is too emotionally risky for you, why not try something(one) new? It looks like college worked wonders on that kid you were lab partners with in chem sophomore year. The high school stigma is gone, no one will know, and no one will care. Why not pursue this freshly blossomed cutie, or even a crush you never quite had the courage to pursue before graduation? If sparks fly, maybe you'll even secure yourself a nice FWB to cuddle with over the long winter break in the not so distant future. Just planning ahead here.

5. FOOD
We can't forget what the holiday is truly about--and don't be mistaken, it's not friends, family, or even the freakin Pilgrims. It's food, people! What better way to break the long stretch of dining hall meals than with the best food ever. Speaking for myself, I know I will be VERY grateful for stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin cheesecake this November. Today is not the day to hold back, fill yourself to the brim with home cooking while it's readily available, and have some leftovers for breakfast while you're at it.

As they say, it's the most wonderful time of the year. (That's about Thanksgiving, right?) So indulge yourself, and be thankful for the delicacies and amazing company, because it'll be back to school--and time for finals--before you know it.

Give freakin' THANKS.

Image Alt
College Life | 

Throwback to Season 1

Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.

I have this running joke with my current friend group where I refer to some of them as the, "Season 4," cast in my life. As I've graduated high school, entered college, and then got shuffled into my major, friends have come and gone.

Every transition is a new season of the ridiculous sitcom of my life.

So, Season 4, the season of my Maturity ArcTM, where I'm bravely forging ahead with my life, taking opportunities and preparing for life after graduation. Things are going good. Great, even. So, of course, there's gotta be a callback to my Origin ArcTM.

And that's when we start bringing back the Season 1 characters that we thought were out the door.

To put it less dramatically, a friend from high school came to visit me, and we had a really fun time. No awkward silences, no not really knowing what to say to each other, we just picked up from where we'd left off.

Being fairly out of touch with my graduating class, my time with them has kind of fuzzied out in my brain, but it took maybe an hour (and three beers) for it all to come back. The embarrassing stories, the inter-clique politics, the illicit romances.

God, high school was truly one of the most infuriating times of my life, but looking back on it after having graduated almost three years ago it all seems so funny. And past that, it was just so nice to have someone who's known me for so long back in my life for a night.

If you graduated and didn't look back then that was your decision. Burn those bridges, man. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. But laughing about all the dumb shit you did or saw is miles better with a beer and an old friend than it is by yourself.

The first season may be shittier than the rest, but hey, it's there for a reason.