Pump The Breaks, Liberals
The Real World |  Source: unionleader.com

Pump The Breaks, Liberals

Bill O'Reilly's exit from Fox may be a little untimely.

At any normal point in time, Bill O'Reilly losing his job and being denied the opportunity to poison minds on national television would be a massive victory.

Unfortunately, the point in time that we are currently residing in is anything but normal.

Partially because the man who is currently running the country is the most unqualified, unintelligent, short-fused, scatter-brained bafoon to ever do so. Oh, and he's also probably the most racist as well (which is saying a lot for a country that was once headed by Woodrow Wilson).

However, the main reason that this period of time is so unprecedented is because of alternative facts (or in layman's terms: lies). From the size of the president's inauguration crowd, to accusations of wire-tapping by his predecessor, to the size of the president's hands, lies plague the Trump administration.

No that didn't sound right... lies are the Trump administration. But that shouldn't be too shocking: we are talking about a group of megalomaniacs being run by an overweight oompa-loompa who believes that vaccines cause autism, an alleged homophobe, a former robber baron, the Grim Reaper, Melissa McCarthy, a woman who (through nothing short of a medical miracle) only knows how to talk out of her ass, and a wannabe J.Crew model.

So no, the fact that the Trump administration lies about almost everything shouldn't be surprising. Actually, it shouldn't even be concerning, because in an ideal world, the media would weed out what's true and what's bullshit.

Too bad we don't live in an ideal world.

Of course the media should be bipartisan, but they're not, and nobody has proven that more than conservative news outlets (looking at you Fox and Friends). Ever since Trump has come to office, these outlets haven't just kept their mouths open for Trump's hearty helping of bullshit: they've taken it down with a smile and asked for seconds (I know that's a gross visual, but Trump is president now and anything goes).

That's where Bill O'Reilly came in. Yes, he's a piece of shit. Yes, he's essentially a conspiracy theorist. Yes, he brainwashes his audience. But in this new world where conservative news outlets pick up whatever President Trump puts down, Bill O'Reilly (whether he knew it or not) was actually a valuable tool in the anti-Trump tool box.

Because if there's one thing that Bill O'Reilly loves more than anything in the world, it's Bill O'Reilly. I hate to say it, but he might actually love himself more than President Trump loves himself. And because of that, he's willing to say and do pretty much anything to get headlines.

For example, calling out President Trump on not fact-checking his information.

It's been a long running joke that The O'Reilly Factor is only viewed by senior citizens as they get ready for bed, but in reality, that joke isn't even a joke. The median age of O'Reilly's viewers is 72.1 years old, which means most of his viewers fall into the 65+ demographic, a demographic that heavily favored President Trump in this past election.

Interesting: why would O'Reilly criticize a man whom his audience clearly supports? Well kids, here's the magical thing about Bill O'Reilly: he's the Jim Jones of network television.

He doesn't have to say anything, because his followers believe whatever he says. So when he calls out Trump on live television, or criticizes the president for being woefully unqualified, his fans don't turn the TV off: they eat it up!

So believe it or not, but an extremely popular, or rather the most popular, popular conservative news anchor with a heavily Trump-centric fan group and a world class level of hubris could have actually been a blessing in disguise for liberals (and all other sane humans) during the four-year reign of President Trump.

Maybe he would have broken from his conservative mold more often to garner better ratings or get his name in the headlines. Maybe him breaking from that mold would have swayed some of his fans to abandon President Trump altogether. I know it's far fetched, but who knows!

All I'm saying is that if your main goal is to get Donald Trump out of the White House ASAP, maybe Bill O'Reilly and his shitty show were somewhat beneficial. And maybe (emphasis on mayyyyyyyyybbbbbbeeeeee) it would have been timelier for this O'Reilly scandal to break in, oh, I don't know, another...

1,290 days?

However, if your goal is to maintain the integrity of humanity, than congrats! Today was clearly a big day for you.

Image Alt
The Real World | 

FOX Releases Trailer for TV Series About the First Woman in Baseball (Video)

It should be pretty inspirational.

This week, FOX released the trailer of a new series about the first woman to make it to the MLB. It stars Kylie Bunbury, who plays the character of Ginny Baker, who makes her way up to the San Diego Padres, but has to overcome major obstacles to do so. (It also stars a guy who looks exactly like Steve Harvey, so look out for that).

It seems like an inspirational series that could lay down a path for young women to follow, if they are so inclined. It seems to be modeled after Mo'Ne Davis, who led the Taney Little League team from Philadelphia to a third place finish in the Little League World Series in the summer of 2014.

It's good of FOX to green light something that may not appeal to a massive audience, but has a good message. It could catch on with the sports audience, as there are reportedly many MLB player cameos throughout the series, but time will tell. Here's to hoping people fall for the feel good story.

Image Alt
The Real World |  Source: slate.com

Ted Cruz Has Decided to Formally Endorse Donald Trump

Ted Cruz sold his soul for free.

Ted Cruz, once the last hope of stopping a Trump nomination, is now a man with a political career on the brink of collapse.

Facing the pressure of national media, and the slander he received after his non-endorsement at the Republican National Convention, Cruz has caved. It is being reported by multiple news sources that Ted Cruz will officially endorse Donald Trump.

Cruz's speech at the RNC is at the crux of this, so lets briefly evaluate what happened. Cruz was asked to speak at the RNC, so he wrote a prepared speech that he'd give during his much-anticipated moment on stage.

This speech was peered over by the Reince Priebus and the RNC and by the Trump campaign prior to the event. Cruz gave said speech, and predictably didn't endorse the guy who said his wife was ugly, threatened to "spill the beans" about her, and promulgated the conspiracy theory that Ted Cruz's father played a role in the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

Anyone who took a minute to consider Trump's slander of Cruz and his family should come to the conclusion that Cruz wasn't going to be giving Trump a ringing endorsement.

Despite the slander, Cruz stood on the stage and made a case in favor of Trump even without the outright endorsement. That didn't satisfy the Trump blowhards even though it apparently satisfied the Trump campaign when they read his speech beforehand.

Cruz's "vote your conscience" was taken by Trump supporters as "don't vote Trump" which is somehowTed Cruz's fault and not the fault of those who seemingly had a "guilty" conscience and shouldn't vote for Trump based on what Cruz said.

Basically, the logic is as follows: if Cruz said, "vote your conscience" and someone takes that as "don't vote Trump", maybe there's something guilty within that person's conscience about voting Trump, and that's not exactly Ted Cruz's fault.

In recent months, Cruz's die-hard supporters jumped on the #NeverTrump train and praised Cruz for being a man who remained principled in his decision not to formally endorse, while the new "Trumpian" Republican establishment has been laying the foundation to ostracize Cruz from all political circles.

Today, Cruz, in an attempt to salvage his career has decided to take another loss in selling out his most ardent supporters and his principles to support the man who dragged his name through the mud, destroyed his political career/future, called his wife ugly, and accused his dad of murdering JFK.

Ted Cruz, what in the world are you doing?

Image Alt
The Real World |  Source: abcnews.com

LeBron James Nearly Flattened Bill Belichick

The Hoodie was almost placed on IR.

Bill Belichick, one of the most revered head coaches in the history of professional American sports, is respected for his brilliant mind almost as much as his stoicism. He almost never reveals his emotions during games, hiding under his signature grey hoodie until the Patriots have steamrolled every opponent in his sight.

Well, it turns out he actually does have emotions, like the rest of us human beings, and one of them is the fear of being squashed into a tiny pile of dust by a colossal human being named LeBron James.

Belichick was sitting courtside at the Cavaliers vs. Celtics game in Boston Wednesday night, watching what turned out to be a very good basketball game. The Celtics won by four points.

But the outcome doesn't really matter. What matters is this:

Let's break down Belichick's reactions:

0:01: Oh, my, that LeBron fellow sure seems to coming fast towards this here basketballing hoop. I wonder if he will score the points. I know I sure like scoring points. God the Patriots are SO GOOD.

0:02: Hm, it seems the LeBron man missed scoring the basketball points. Too bad for him. I never lose, so I don't know what that feels like.

0:03: Oh goodness me, he's still moving very fast. Sir, please slow down! You might scuff this nice sport jacket I have put on instead of wearing my traditional hooded sweatshirt, which is extremely comfortable! Sir please stop moving towards me!

0:04: OH HOLY HELL MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES, OH MAN I WON SO MANY SUPER BOWLS, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME MR. LEBRON!

0:05: I think I peed myself.

0:06: Phew. I'm alive. Where was I? Oh, yes. The Patriots. My, the Patriots are so good.

Belichick escaped his near-death experience with the human bulldozer that is LeBron James relatively unscathed. But we now know that, in the face of an unstoppable force like LeBron, even emotion-less Bill Belichick will fear for his life.

Image Alt
The Real World |  Source: RT.com, Michele Paccione (edited)

Trump Signs Bills To Support Women In STEM

Something Democrats and Republicans can agree on.

On February 28, Trump signed his first two bills into law, "INSPIRE" (HR321) and "The Promoting Women in Entrepreneurship Act" (HR255).

The INSPIRE bill directs NASA to encourage women to study STEM majors (science, technology, engineering, and math) and pursue careers in aerospace. This is supposed to be achieved through some of NASA's outreach initiatives such as Aspire to Inspire and its summer institutes.

NASA also must submit to congress a specific plan on how it can best encourage the next generation of women to consider participating in STEM fields. An idea for this is to have successful women astronauts and scientists go speak to girls at elementary schools.

The "Promoting Women in Entrepreneurship Act" authorizes the National Science Foundation to motivate its entrepreneurial programs to recruit and aid women in expanding their focus beyond the lab and into the commercial sector.

President Trump signing these bills into law is consistent with his rhetoric from the campaign trail. It should be noted though, that the bills passed with almost unanimous support from both sides of the aisle.

In the Oval Office, Trump stated the importance of passing laws that support women in their careers.

"That's really going to be addressed by my administration over the years with more and more of these bills coming out and address the barriers faced by female entrepreneurs and by those in STEM fields," he said.

Women are a significant minority in STEM fields, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics reporting in 2015 that in the field of software developers women make up only 20 percent.

Lack of women in lucrative fields such as tech and engineering are partially the problem for the gap in average wage pay. Passing these bills is a small step in equalling out the disparity in STEM fields, but it shows that our government isn't necessarily going to go up in flames, and congress can actually get things done every once in awhile.

Image Alt
The Real World |  Source: CincinnatiRefined.com

Five Things You Need to Know Today: 4/29

We read the news so you don't have to.

Here's what you need to know today, thanks to our friends at the Daily Pnut.

1) The U.S. Economy isn't doing so hot right now.

The U.S. economy grew at the lackluster annual rate of 0.5 percent in the first quarter of 2016 in a possible sign that the seven-year recovery might be feeling some strain. The U.S. is one of the few bright spots in the global economy with the Federal Reserve feeling so optimistic recently that they raised interest rates in December. They've since held off doing it again as global growth has been quite disappointing... to put it mildly.

Basically, Japan just slipped into deflation and might experience zero growth despite the Bank of Japan doing everything to increase growth short of firing money out of a cannon into crowds. Meanwhile, China is struggling under a mountain of debt, Brazil is too busy impeaching its president to worry about its terrible recession and Europe's economy is somewhere between constipated and giving up. Central banks around the world are basically printing money to get things moving again, but governments are one-upping them by ushering in a golden era of political dysfunction.

2) The ceasefire that never began just ended.

The truce is officially over after the Syrian government carried out more than 40 airstrikes in Aleppo, destroying a hospital supported by Doctors Without Borders and leaving at least 30 people dead. Dr. Wasem Maaz, the last remaining pediatrician in the rebel-held part of the city, was among the people confirmed killed by an airstrike. And "ceasefire" is confirmed the official "literally" of 2016, in that it now means the opposite.

3) The Greatest Show On EarthTM

The GOP election circus put on a show yesterday that could rival Ringling Brothers. Carly Fiorina kicked things off with a serenade so bizarre that it might force Andy Borowitz to retire. Then, SideShow John Boehner gave a scathing interview at Stanford University where he called Ted Cruz "Lucifer in the flesh" and confirmed what we already knew about Cruz: "I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life." And as a grand finale, Trump headlined the night with a foreign policy address so terrifying, Russians praised it.

4) French protesters clash with police over new labor law.

Violence erupted across several French cities yesterday as hundreds took to the streets to protest the planned labor reforms. Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve said more than 100 protesters had been detained country-wide and over two dozen police and military forces were injured, in some cases critically. Figures for civilian injuries are yet to be confirmed. Critics of the proposal feel it would let employers bypass regulations on basic worker rights. Proponents argue that it would give bosses greater freedom to set their own rates, which might alleviate unemployment.

5) Florida school project sparks fear of Zodiac Killer.

A class project at Florida State University took a strange turn when it prompted police to investigate whether the Zodiac Killer had returned. For an English class, students were asked to write a message in a public forum and take a picture of it. Easiest A ever. Unfortunately, one overachiever scribbled "I'm alive and well and I'm going to start killing again" on an apartment complex for the assignment. Police were called to investigate the graffiti that included the cipher associated with the Zodiac Killer of the late '60s and early '70s. No word yet if this assignment will still be on the syllabus next semester.