Porn Plays Over The Intercom in a Target Store
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Porn Plays Over The Intercom in a Target Store

Cleanup on aisle 5.

Allow me to set the scene:

You're at Target, shopping for a new fall-themed cardigan to wear to Sarah's party tomorrow when the generic Coldplay song cuts out and it's like that time when you walked in on your roommate spanking the monkey all over again, except the sound is everywhere and it fills the entire store and you can't escape it. Kids begin crying. Store managers are sprinting in circles. Old ladies drop their cartons of eggs.

Obviously, you grab your phone and record the transpiring events so you can post it on tumblr.

Watch the video: here.

Okay Tyler Durden. We get it. Fight the man.

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Five Articles of Clothing Every Guy in College Should Own

There are certain times in life when you'll need to wear a collared shirt. Sorry.

A solid pair of chinos: Chinos should be an essential part of any guy's college wardrobe. If you get a good pair in a pretty safe color, such as blue, black, or khaki, then they can be used in a ton of different social situations. Need a pair of pants to throw on minutes before class? Grab the chinos. Need a pair of pants for your formal this weekend? Throw those pants in the wash and you've got some pants that are easy to dress up. Need a pair of pants to look somewhat dressed up for that job interview tomorrow? You've already got 'em.
Good places to buy: J.Crew, Gap, H&M

A warm hoodie/sweater/fleece: Personally, I'm partial to hoodies, but having something warm with long sleeves is essential to a college guy's wardrobe. It's going to get cold at some point, regardless of whether you go to school in Maine, Texas, California, or anywhere else. It's better to invest in a warm and stylish hoodie than be the one walking around on campus in a tee shirt when it's 20 degrees outside. Get a fleece-lined one for even more comfort.
Good places to buy: Target, H&M, Patagonia

A pair of nice sneakers: Sneakers are experiencing a renaissance of sorts--it's now acceptable to wear them for more than just athletic activity. Sure, it's possible to get any sort of Nike running shoe and that only has one purpose, but all of the major shoe companies are also investing in a style of sneaker that is more dressed up than before. Think of them of shoes that can fit in at the gym or at the dance floor at a semi-formal event with a button-down and a blazer.
Good places to buy: J.Crew, Nike, Adidas

A pair of joggers: Joggers and sweatpants are also undergoing a fashion revolution as of late. While we all have those old sweatpants you get from high school lax or to wear around the dorm, what I'm talking about is the new, slimmer style of sweatpants meant to be dressed up a bit more than regular sweatpants. Joggers are perfect on a night where you may want to go out, but could be just as happy staying in. They're also perfect for sitting in a class you hate when hungover. You can get them with sweatpants material or even get joggers with a more chino-type material for more disguised comfort. (Elastic waistband ftw.)
Good places to buy: J.Crew, Gap, H&M

A button-down and a blazer: These choices are self-explanatory. You'll need to wear a collared shirt for some event in your near future: formals, job interviews, first dates, second dates, dinner with professors. The blazer should fit well, be able to button but not extend past your knuckles; and the nice shirt should be a material that has to be dry cleaned. Sorry, life. FYI: There's no need to go crazy and buy an incredibly expensive suit, but these items should definitely be part of your wardrobe.
Good places to buy: Nordstrom, Target, J.Crew

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How To Sweatpants in Class

The art of concealing how lazy you are.

As a fashion design and merchandising major, my professors expect me to dress like a real life person when I show up to class. They don't let the whole "pajamas in class" thing fly. Personally, I don't mind dressing well for class. It helps motivate me to get up in the morning; and it allows me to feel good about what I'm wearing. But like most normal humans, I too have those days when I just fucking can't.

Herein lies the problem: I absolutely hate the look of sloppy t-shirts and baggy sweatpants in class. Granted, when it's 20 degrees outside and you have an 8 a.m., you probably don't feel like throwing on jeans and a blouse. But there are ways to wear sweatpants and still look put together at the same time. I like wearing joggers with slip-on sneakers, or rolled up with boots in the winter. But please, don't wear your high school track uniform sweatpants, or those god awful plaid flannel PJs out in public.

If you must sweatpants to class, for the love of God, pick a cute pair. There are plenty of acceptable fashion-forward options out there. Plus, they're a great alternative for leggings, or when you don't feel like being a basic bitch in yoga pants.

Here are my top choices of on-trend sweatpants that double as acceptable classwear.

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Entertainment | 

Confessions of a College Asshole Ep. 5

Lying, Cheating and General Douchebaggery

In honor of the dumbest holiday of the year, I'll give you a timeline of last year's February 14, because it was fire. Literally.

10 p.m.
I told Jane (names have been changed because she was a complete whore) to ease up on the wine at our dinner. I told her it was because I didn't want her to get sick, but really it was so she could stay up with me and have vigorous sex all night.

11 p.m.
Jane is on wine #3 and we head to bar after our ever-so-romantic dinner at the local Italian place near campus. A few beers in and the dancing commences. Lots of dry humping and Jane is ready to GO.

12 a.m.
Prime Time. I had set up my dorm prior to our date with those little white lights, some candles, and rose petals. I couldn't afford the full flowers. Pro tip: petals are cheap. Anyway Jane is all "THIS IS SO SWEET" and I know I'm getting it in.

12:01 a.m.
Jane launches herself on me like an animal in heat. We roll around and she practically loses an eye taking off my belt. This girl was like a hoover and I was simultaneously get blown while congratulating myself on the V-Day well done.

12:05 a.m.
The blow job got aggressive and poor Jane gagged herself and started to barf. We stumbled out of my room and into the bathroom so she could throw up her pasta.

I got her sitting down in the stall and went to go pee in the sink. Standing there minding my own business and I hear some shouting in the hallway, which was starting to get louder. I didn't want to leave Jane alone while she was sick so I just peeked out to see what was up.

Of course. Of course my room was on fire. My night went from an epic BJ to setting my fucking DORM ON FIRE. I got Jane on her feet and we headed out of the dorm. It ended up fine--the R.A. had a fire extinguisher and it was out in like 30 seconds, and it only burned a bit of my desk.

But I got in fucking trouble and Jane never finished her BJ. Lame.

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Entertainment |  Source: bang.fit (edited)

PornHub Is A SJW

What a time to be alive.

Ah, pornography. This giant among media industries continues to provide global guilty pleasures, grace the web browsers of pre-pubescent boys, and....lead the way for social justice causes from sex ed to women's rights.

That's right, y'all heard me. PornHub is arguably doing more these days for social responsibility than many of our nation's politicians.

Now, I know that none of you reading this would know anything about PornHub (Right? Right???), so let me provide a couple of numbers to put their efforts to affect positive change in scope. In 2016, nearly 92 billion videos were viewed on the site, with 23 billion individual site visits. Let that sink in.

Those colossal numbers mean two things: first, that some of you all are lying about your internet use, and second, that anything PornHub posts related to social justice or awareness-raising has the potential to be seen by a truly significant amount of people.

That said, clearly PornHub does not receive enough credit for the societal good it does, so allow me to detail a few of their recent efforts in that arena:

They deactivated parts of the site for International Women's Day/A Day Without Women.
To honor these recent holidays, PornHub changed its icon and deactivated all the heterosexual content on the website for 24 hours, with the explanation that "It is important to remember women are not simply sex objects but are our equals and deserve respect."

Good lord, guys. I don't think I can emphasize enough how important a message this is for anyone to put out publicly, but that goes double for a large porn site. This initiative tells me that PornHub is committed to promoting positivity and responsibility in the sex work industry, and that they are actively using their widespread influence in a responsible manner.

They have a sex ed section.
Most of us who went through high school, and subsequently high school wellness class, know that abstinence- based sex ed is everywhere. Most of us also know what the chances are that high schoolers are going to listen and obey when their parents and teachers warn them away from the wide world of sex.

PornHub has launched a portal that contains information from doctors, counselors, and real folks on every subject imaginable, from STDs to puberty and relationships. This is a big step forward towards realistic, responsible, and comprehensive sex education, which is something the teens and young adults of the world sorely need.

They have resources to combat revenge porn and domestic abuse.
In 2015, PornHub enabled a feature of their site to help fight against the trend of "revenge porn". They now allow users to flag and report videos and give reasons for doing so, including that the video was posted without proper consent. Since then, the site has seen a 38 percent decline in revenge porn complaints.

Additionally, the website teamed up with former porn actress Christy Mack to create a line of clothing raising awareness for (and funding efforts against) domestic violence. The webpage for this effort also features statistics and information on how victims of this sort of violence can seek help.

The sex industry frequently gets a bad rap for encouraging unhealthy sexual and social behaviors in our culture, purely because of its taboo nature. That being the case, PornHub deserves a big round of applause for spreading positivity and necessary knowledge to benefit those who visit the site. They have set an example that deserves recognition and support.

Pick up where they've left off, you guys. After all, who doesn't love a dose of good, wholesome porn?

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Entertainment |  Source: sportingnews.com

5 Fantasy Football Sleepers to Target

Win all the money this year.

The fantasy football season is now upon us. Each year, prior to the NFL season, millions (an estimated 75 million) of sports fans complete fantasy football drafts in hopes of winning the ultimate prize - a fantasy football championship.

After all, the excitement is warranted. Bragging rights, internal dignity, and cash winnings are often on the line. In this article, I will break down some of the sleepers who have stuck out this preseason. These are the guys who could make or break fantasy owners' seasons.

Running Back: Terrance West
Terrance West is going to be a guy you could grab very late in your draft, perhaps even in the final round. What most uninformed drafters will think is that Justin Forsett, a former pro bowler, has the command of the RB situation in Baltimore.

What you should know is that West is making serious strides to usurp Forsett on the depth chart and take over as the Ravens lead back. He found the endzone twice in his first preseason game and has improved his vision between the tackles and his elusiveness after dropping weight this offseason.

Running Back: Christine Michael
Christine Michael is another preseason standout who is carving out a role for himself. The presence of Thomas Rawls on the Seahawks roster makes Rawls the likely opening-day starter after his success last season, but Rawls is still dealing with a serious injury, which has given Michael an opportunity to prove himself.

He's begun to do that in camp and the Seahawks brass already seem to be signaling that this backfield will split carries, with Rawls and Michael playing as a "1-2 punch". While Seattle's offensive line is among the worst in football, OL coach Tom Cable and HC Pete Carroll always find ways for their backs to get into space in the Seahawks' zone run scheme.

Wide Receiver: Sterling Shepard
Eli Manning has a history of making sub-standard wide receivers outperform their skill-set. In recent years, he's done this with Reuben Randle, Brandon Myers, Larry Donnell, and Hakeem Nicks.

Now, it's the second-round rookie Sterling Shepard's turn to take advantage of the Giants air attack. If Eli made Reuben Randle a fantasy commodity playing on the other side of Odell Beckham Jr., he should be able to help Shepard shine like "sterling" silver this season.

Wide Receiver: Michael Thomas
The Saints got a steal when they selected Thomas in round two. He was a prospect that some draft analysts had ranked as high as WR #1 on the big boards. This kid's skills have already been on display in camp and in the first preseason game, and this hasn't gone unrecognized by the Saints management.

Thomas is already being considered for a starting role, and as we've seen time and again, starting wide receivers in an offense run by Drew Brees are always dynamic fantasy players.

Wide Receiver: Mike Wallace
It seems like a long time since Wallace was one of the league's best receivers during his days in Pittsburgh. However, Joe Flacco has been raving about Wallace's play in camp and, as we've seen many times before, Flacco builds a strong rapport with veteran receivers and with playmakers who can reel in the deep ball.

Wallace fits into both of these categories. The Ravens receiving group is as weak as ever, highlighted by uncertainty clouding the status of Steve Smith. This has catapulted Wallace into the conversation for the Ravens WR1 spot.

If Wallace can replicate some of what Steve Smith did last year or what Torrey Smith did in his Baltimore days, this could be a "perfect storm" for Wallace to be a dependable WR2 this season.