Lil Dicky Wants You to Wrap It (Video)
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Lil Dicky Wants You to Wrap It (Video)

He's the Steve Jobs of safe sex.

Wrapper Lil Dicky (see what I did there?) is the new face of Trojan Condoms. And what a spokesman he is. He also wants to talk to you about the importance of safe sex in club bathrooms.

The bizarre mix of his Steve Jobs turtleneck and Woody Allen delivery make an oddly effective, and hilarious, one-two punch combo. Plus, it's hella educational.

In other news, health teachers everywhere were laid off today in a controversial move to replace entire sex-ed classes with this video. Just kidding. But seriously, they should.

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The 4 Dos and Don'ts of Drunk Sex

One-night stands don't have to be awkward.

DO: Ask for consent
When you're drunk things can move too quickly. But don't let there be any ambiguity if you are planning on having sex. There is nothing sexier than hearing the word yes, so make sure you ask for consent before anything happens.

DON'T: Be afraid to ask for what you want
Drunken sex is sloppy by nature, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it all the same. Take advantage of your low inhibitions and tell him exactly what feels good. He'll be happy to oblige; and you won't regret it.

DO: Still have foreplay
You may be tempted to get right to it, but foreplay is surprisingly good while drunk. It's definitely a little less of a fine art but it still totally has all the benefits of sober foreplay.

DON'T: Get discouraged
Whiskey dick is most definitely not a myth. Don't be offended at all if a guy can't get it up or keep it up. It has nothing to do with you. He's probably really regretting that 6th game of pong, but don't hold it against him. Just lighten the mood and have fun together.

DO: Use protection
Even if you are on birth control, you should still use a condom. Hungover you will be so grateful to not have to run out and get Plan B or worry about whatever is going around campus these days.

DON'T: Care too much about orgasming
It's much harder to climax when drunk; there's just no getting around it. Enjoy the sex while you're having it, but if it doesn't seem like you or your partner are going to finish, it isn't the end of the world.

DO: Clean up and remember to use the bathroom!
I'm not sure why this isn't the first thing they teach you in middle school health class. If you didn't know, UTIs are actually karma for you being a lazy fuck and not peeing after sex.

DON'T: Get embarrassed in the morning
Waking up super hungover next to last night's hook-up may be awkward at first, but it definitely doesn't have to be. Instead of tiptoeing out the door before he wakes up, start the morning with an even better pick-me-up than coffee ;)

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Back Door Lovin'

Everything you need to know about anal.

Most of the dudes out there haven't done it, but want to, and an equal number of the ladies out there are wondering what to do when your bae casually sticks a finger up your butt without so much as a "here it comes".

Well you're not alone. Plenty of you want to punch the starfish or have your starfish punched. Here are some tips on how to make that first experience more fun and a lot less painful.

Communicate: It's obviously super important that both you and your partner are on the same page. Talk about it, plan it out and only try it when both parties are into it.

Clean that shit up: Literally.. Get in the shower, get up in there with a washcloth or something and make that rear entry shine. You can take it even further with an enema if you're a real overachiever.

Foreplay: It's important that the first thing to enter is smaller than the last. Start with finger penetration or sex toys as a way to get the sphincter nice and loose before anal sex occurs. The tip could be the worst part, so it shouldn't be the first part.

Put on a condom: It will keep things cleaner, I mean shit does come out of that hole. However, more important than cleanliness is preventing the spread of disease, you know, like herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis and HIV.

Lube: And lots of it. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't create its own natural lubrication so to avoid friction and reduce pain use lots of KY.

Ease into it: As the anal canal gets stretched and lubricated, you will be able to increase the speed and intensity of entry. Starting like a bat out of hell will only lead to pain and likely no more anal for a while.

Relax: This tip is a lot easier said than done, but the more relaxed you are the more relaxed the anus will be; making penetration less painful. Remember, a relaxed sphincter is a happy sphincter!

Breathe: This is a lot easier said than done, but the more relaxed you are the more relaxed the anus will be; making penetration less painful. If you're holding your breath that increases intra-abdominal pressure and could lead to increased resistance and pain. Regular breathing relaxes the lower abdominal and pelvic muscles for easier entry.

Clean that shit up (again): It's not uncommon, in fact it's likely, that you will have some leakage. You and your partner need to be aware of this possibility and you both need to be OK with riding the hershey highway. Put a towel down for easy clean up, no fuss, no muss. And please resist doing your best Mia Khalifa impersonation and give head after anal. Well, at least not until after the cleanup.

So now that we've gotten those important steps down, let's dispel a few myths about anal.

Can you get pregnant from anal?
In a word, yes! Well, sorta, it's very unlikely but not impossible. Because your "taint" is relatively small and the distance between vag and ass is so short, technically sperm can find its way into the uterus.

Can I tear my asshole?
Yes, any time the delicate lining of the anus is stretched it's susceptible to small tears or fissures. Tears don't usually lead to serious issues but they can cause bleeding and tend to be very painful.

Will my butt return to normal?
Rectum, damn near killed him. Ha, kidding. It will. If the vagina can regain its form after pushing out the softball-sized head of a baby, than your butt can too. Not that we're encouraging you to insert anything softball sized in your ass, but you get the point.

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Real Talk |  Source: FlockU, Shutterstock

1980's Sex-Ed Was Seriously Messed Up

A closer look abstinence propaganda.

This video was shown in my eighth grade health class. Now let me tell you, there are so, so many different things about this to discuss, but I'll only address a few.

1. Shoes. WTF.
This video objectifies women in the grossest way possible. It addresses virginity as something that you give someone, rather than an arbitrary name used to identify a certain event. Not to mention the idea that losing this mythical "virginity" changes you (or your shoes) at all.

Speaking of which...

2. Vaginas do not wear out. Ever.
Yes, even if 'the whole football team' has fucked you, your vagina is not going to magically change shape or size in any way. The idea that your vagina is useless after having sex, and noticeably so after multiple infractions, has been around for centuries.

However, the vagina is a muscle, and changes shape just like the dick does, returning back to it's normal tightness... even after childbirth! So there is no way that just by looking at your cooch is a man going to know if you've had sex, let alone how often.

3. Slut shaming your wife is not OK
This man apparently loves this woman, but he treats her like a defective prize. He yells at her for the state of her shoes, and for not waiting like he did. He even disregards her saying "I didn't know how to say no" which speaks vaguely of unwanted or unenthusiastic sex.

He doesn't care how she feels about the situation, just that ] her lack of virginity is a direct attack on him (it's not, just FYI).

4. Don't forget your socks!
OK, if we're running with the whole "these shoes are a vagina, and your foot is a dick" metaphor, then using socks as a metaphor for condoms is actually pretty damn hilarious. Especially when you factor in that some guys use socks to masturbate!

Still, overall this is a pretty horrific video to be showing in a middle school. After watching that, no sexually promiscuous girl is going to ask questions about how to be safe. So instead of promoting abstinence, this video is more likely to just harm young girls who think they have permanently ruined their bodies.

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Real Talk |  Source: FlockU, Shutterstock

Stealthing: What You Need to Know

It's not cool and it's certainly not a "trend".

You may have seen the term in the news or are just seeing it for the first time. Stealthing: the practice of removing a condom during sex without consent. Labeled a "sex trend", stealthing is much more than just a "sex trend" and comes with risks and dangers you need to know about.

From a report in the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, stealthing is removing a condom during sex without consent. This practice is nonconsensual and doing so turns consensual sex into non consensual sex.

Stealthing is sexual assault.
When you consent to sex with a condom, that doesn't mean you consent to sex without a condom. They are two very different things. Stealthing puts a person at risk physically, emotionally, and financially.

There are also feelings of violation of their bodies and their trust. A victim in the report said that stealthing felt like a "rape-adjacent".

Stealthing is dangerous.
The risks of stealthing include unwanted pregnancy, possible contraction of sexually transmitted infections and the feeling of being violated. Because this practice isn't widely known or talked about, women don't know what to call it.

In the Columbia report, a woman, Rebecca, works at a rape crisis center and is a victim of this practice herself. She says, "Their stories often start out the same way: I'm not sure if this is rape, but..."

There are forums and websites dedicated to stealthing.
In the report, internet forums are mentioned for perpetrators of stealthing to give advice for tricking a partner, encouragement for stealthing, and how to stealth.

Those who practice stealthing justify it by saying it's a natural male instinct and even going so far as to call it a right for a man to "spread his seed". Stealthers on forums go so far as to say their sexual partners deserve to be impregnated because "that's how god created this universe, we are born to do it."

There is little legal recourse.
In the United States, it's hard for victims of sexual assault to get legal action. For victims of stealthing, it's even harder. Currently in the United States, there is no legal record of a stealthing case (it's worth noting that a man in Switzerland was convicted of stealthing).

In the report, victims of stealthing say they hadn't considered legal options. The report examines potential avenues for stealthing victims, such as criminal law, tort law or civil rights options for victims.

Stealthing is sexual assault. And while it may not be widely recognized by US law or the public, stealthing is a huge breach of trust and bodily autonomy.

If you are a victim of stealthing or other sexual violence, you can contact RAINN at 1-800-656-4673 or at their website.

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Real Talk |  Source: Newsweek

Why Everyone Should Take Sex Ed In College

Think: everything you want to know minus being awkwardly at the climax of puberty.

More and more college campuses are getting on the beautiful wave of sex positivity thinking about and teaching sex as a healthy, natural, and pleasurable part of life. (The free condoms everywhere may have clued you into this movement already.)

Chances are, even if you're from a liberal part of the country, this wasn't the case in high school. The majority of high schools still teach abstinence only, and here's a fun fact, only 13 states require that information taught to students in sex ed be MEDICALLY ACCURATE. I'll let that sink in.

Aside from that absolute buffoonery, the timing of most students' sex education doesn't exactly line up with when they need to be educated about sex. I mean hey, maybe there are some frisky sixth graders out there who benefitted from all of the overhead projected diagrams and Lifetime movies about getting pregnant at 14.

But for the vast majority of us, going through this torturous class was more about counting down the minutes until your gym teacher would stop saying the word penis than jotting notes for future reference.

Now that we're at the most sexually active age in our lives, I'd say it's a pretty good time to get the facts straight.

Education means de-stigmatization, which just sounds like a bunch of word play, but it's good stuff, I promise! When sex becomes something that people are educated about, feel free asking questions about, and can happily engage in, the taboo around this "dirty" act disappears.

Sex ed doesn't mean just naming the body parts and looking at graphic nightmares depicting every STI under the sun. It can be learning about different types of contraceptives available (often times for free at student health), learning about what consent is and isn't (which far too many could stand to be educated on), or learning about the importance of pleasure in sex (don't think I need an explanation for this one.)

Just think, most of the people sharing a campus with you, going to parties with you, and potentially going home with you, never even learned about practices of safe sex. And if you're one of those people yourself, there is no better time to learn about all the juicy info that your catholic school teachers were holding back!

If you think you've already got it all mastered, maybe you're right, but just keep in mind, taking sex ed can only lead to healthier, safer, sexier sex.