Most of the dudes out there haven't done it, but want to, and an equal number of the ladies out there are wondering what to do when your bae casually sticks a finger up your butt without so much as a "here it comes".
Well you're not alone. Plenty of you want to punch the starfish or have your starfish punched. Here are some tips on how to make that first experience more fun and a lot less painful.
Communicate: It's obviously super important that both you and your partner are on the same page. Talk about it, plan it out and only try it when both parties are into it.
Clean that shit up: Literally.. Get in the shower, get up in there with a washcloth or something and make that rear entry shine. You can take it even further with an enema if you're a real overachiever.
Foreplay: It's important that the first thing to enter is smaller than the last. Start with finger penetration or sex toys as a way to get the sphincter nice and loose before anal sex occurs. The tip could be the worst part, so it shouldn't be the first part.
Put on a condom: It will keep things cleaner, I mean shit does come out of that hole. However, more important than cleanliness is preventing the spread of disease, you know, like herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis and HIV.
Lube: And lots of it. Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn't create its own natural lubrication so to avoid friction and reduce pain use lots of KY.
Ease into it: As the anal canal gets stretched and lubricated, you will be able to increase the speed and intensity of entry. Starting like a bat out of hell will only lead to pain and likely no more anal for a while.
Relax: This tip is a lot easier said than done, but the more relaxed you are the more relaxed the anus will be; making penetration less painful. Remember, a relaxed sphincter is a happy sphincter!
Breathe: This is a lot easier said than done, but the more relaxed you are the more relaxed the anus will be; making penetration less painful. If you're holding your breath that increases intra-abdominal pressure and could lead to increased resistance and pain. Regular breathing relaxes the lower abdominal and pelvic muscles for easier entry.
Clean that shit up (again): It's not uncommon, in fact it's likely, that you will have some leakage. You and your partner need to be aware of this possibility and you both need to be OK with riding the hershey highway. Put a towel down for easy clean up, no fuss, no muss. And please resist doing your best Mia Khalifa impersonation and give head after anal. Well, at least not until after the cleanup.
So now that we've gotten those important steps down, let's dispel a few myths about anal.
Can you get pregnant from anal?
In a word, yes! Well, sorta, it's very unlikely but not impossible. Because your "taint" is relatively small and the distance between vag and ass is so short, technically sperm can find its way into the uterus.
Can I tear my asshole?
Yes, any time the delicate lining of the anus is stretched it's susceptible to small tears or fissures. Tears don't usually lead to serious issues but they can cause bleeding and tend to be very painful.
Will my butt return to normal?
Rectum, damn near killed him. Ha, kidding. It will. If the vagina can regain its form after pushing out the softball-sized head of a baby, than your butt can too. Not that we're encouraging you to insert anything softball sized in your ass, but you get the point.