How Baby Boomers Screwed Us Up
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How Baby Boomers Screwed Us Up

Sometimes hard work doesn't pay off.

Disclaimer: For practical reasons, I may use the term "baby boomer" loosely. To see the actual timeline that defines terms such as "baby boomer" or "millennial," go to the Center For Generational Kinetics' website.

Baby boomers (now in their fifties, sixties, and seventies) worked hard to ensure that their kids wanted for nothing. After they worked their asses off to provide us with everything we could possibly need, we grew up to be "entitled little shits" with no respect for our elders.

They bought houses, televisions and college tuition, but were they too busy making ends meet to teach us how to reach our full potential? Were our parents too distracted or too exhausted to converse with us in a meaningful way?

To them, our birthday presents represented all the hard work they put into supporting us. To us, it was just a Gameboy or, later on, an iPod. This is what F. Scott Fitzgerald warned us about. Corrupted by materialist values, our parents were seduced by the American Dream.

Time to stop chasing the green light, old sport.

They just don't get why their kids grew up to be so ungrateful. Perhaps we don't understand the value of hard work because our parents didn't take the time to help us understand them. This isn't our parents' fault.

To them, the American Dream is something you can touch, taste or buy. Though many of us grew up with material wealth, we still aren't happy.

It all goes back to our fundamentally flawed economy and culture. Our society over-exaggerates the value of consumption, but we don't condition individuals to be productive. The corporations in power want us to just buy their products without adapting or finding new ways of doing things. The more mindless we are, the more likely it is for a company, politician or idea to rise to power by unethical, inhumane or unsustainable means.

Baby boomers butt heads with the younger generations because they think we don't appreciate them. In truth, we don't appreciate the superficial values imposed on us. For the first time, our society is being more mindful about things that our parents never considered.

Just because we weren't raised in an age of mindfulness doesn't mean we should blame our elders for all our problems (never mind the title of this article). It's important to understand why consumerist culture left us ill-prepared for reaching our full potential.

But excuses will get us nowhere.

We can learn from the previous generation's mistakes while also thanking them for trying their hardest to make us happy. Like our parents, we will also have to work hard, but our efforts will go into creating cultural and societal change so that future generations will have both the resources and the understanding to reach their full potential.

And it will be priceless.

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Go See Revenant and then Sneak into Room

That bear scene tho...

Going to movies are too fucking expensive. How could I possibly justify spending $15 on a movie when I know this bullshit is gonna be on Netflix later? I can't.

That's why I decided to bring back the ultimate petty crime from my middle school days: multiplexing.

For you mathletes in the nerdery, multiplexing is the art of paying for one movie and then sneaking into the second. And that's precisely what I did this weekend. But more than that, I multiplexed two movies that go great together, and I urge you to do the same. So here is my joint, misdemeanor review for The Revenant and Room.

While these movies may seem super different, they actually are almost exactly the same thing. They both deal with a parent-son relationship. They both deal with themes of isolation. Both their leads are Golden Globe winners (and frontrunners for Academy Awards). And they both have shit-in-your-pants scenes that will make you want to pop a Xanax. For Leo's tale of revenge, the scene everyone will be talking about is when he gets FUCKING ATTACKED BY A BEAR.

If having a grizzly fuck up your shit doesn't win you an Oscar, nothing will. And I know what you're thinking: "What scene in Room could possibly rival Leo's face getting eaten by a bear?" I won't answer that because I don't want to spoil the movie, but holy shit, it was crazy. Like legit sweating in the theater, yelling at a 5-year-old boy because I forgot I was watching fiction.

So since this is technically a review, I give The Revenant three out of five stars and Room four. But since I only paid for one ticket, the overall experience was like...seven stars out of five! What a deal! Long live multiplexing!

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Honest Oscars Trailers for the "Best Picture" Nominees (Video)

Who actually saw Brooklyn?

Just in time for the 2016 Oscars, Screen Junkies blesses us with "honest trailers" for the eight Best Picture nominees. Here are the play-by-plays in case you don't have the $15 for movie theater tickets.

Between the hilarious comedy that is The Martian, the default Spielberg nominee, the badassery that is Mad Max, and Leo's perhaps undeserved but about-time Oscar win, we were pretty "meh" about the Oscars.

But Screen Junkies is here to get us hyped.

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Leo Finally Wins An Oscar And The Internet

He waited a lifetime for these memes.

The world rejoices as Leonardo DiCaprio has finally secured his first Oscar win. One meme dies as another is born.

Welcome to a new era.

#Finally

Gaga passes on her illuminati powers, she's done with the spotlight.

Then there's this tweet ...

Never let go, Leo.

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The Four Years of College as Leonardo DiCaprio Movies

Leo, Leo, Leo.

In honor of the fact that it looks like Leo is finally going to win his first Oscar, I wanted to show the range and intensity this man posses. From being able to effortlessly play the confusion of a Frosh to the jadedness of a senior, Leo will go down in history as a GOAT. Here are my definitive ranking of Leo movies, as it relates to freshman through senior year.

Freshman Year - The Beach
You arrive at your new school and you think you've discovered paradise. No parents, tons of sex and alcohol, what's not to love? However, the longer you stay, you slowly start to realize that not everything is perfect. You are stupid and naive. Books are expensive as shit and finals are no joke. Leo captures this fall from Eden perfectly in Danny Boyle's The Beach.

Sophomore Year - Catch Me if You Can
By the second year, you're starting to figure some stuff out and may have even convinced some people that you're hot shit. But we know the truth: you are still in way over your head. You lie, cheat, and steal to survive, but fuck it, you start having fun doing it, just like CMIYC. Tom Hanks may or may not show up.

Junior Year - The Wolf of Wall Street
This is the year that you've been waiting for. You have your crew, and they aren't the people you just go to dinner with to avoid eating alone. These mofos are ride or die. School takes a backseat to debauchery as you fuck anything that moves and experiment with any drug that you can get your grubby little hands on. Kinda like The Wolf of Wall Street. You can't even write an essay without some Adderall to lean on. LIFE.

Senior Year - The Revenant
As your college career comes to a close, so does the merriment your lazy ass has gotten used to. You've got to apply for jobs, you have to start figuring your life out, and you still have a full year of school bullshit. Your body is battered and broken from three years of mistreatment and you're not sure if you can survive, kind of like Leo versus the bear. But, you have to find a way.

Bonus: Fifth Year - Inception
Why are you back? Is this real? What the fuck is going on?

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Top 10 Celebrities That Men Care About

We pay attention to celebs, too--sometimes.

Some people may think that men don't care about celebrities, but I have news for you: some do. Like me, and I'm important so here:

1.Kim Kardashian: She's sexy and posts nudes, what's not to love?
2.Nicki Minaj: Have you seen the Anaconda video? Yeah well, there's that.
3.Jay Z: He's one of the greatest hip hop moguls out there. Every guy from the hood cares about him--and wants to emulate his style.
4.Charlie Sheen: This is during the #winning era of course. We thought his partying style was dope as shit--until his HIV diagnosis and announcement, and the possibility he spread that ish around.
5.LeBron James: He is a hell of a ball player, businessman, and the epitome of the classic dude. Bonus: he also doesn't get in trouble and is a role model.
6.Michael Jordan: He's the greatest basketball player of all time, and creator of the iconic shoes. We admire anyone that can have men waiting in line for hours to buy their $180 shoes.
7.Karrine Steffans: She's known for dating athletes and musicians on tour, is author of Confessions of a Video Vixen and was giving a nickname heard around the world. (If you don't know it, Google it.)
8.Eminem: He tells it like it is; and makes platinum records doing it. Dope.
9.Kevin Federline: While some call him a fuck boy, here's how I see it: He married Britney Spears, got a lot of her money, then when they split, got child support. Boss shit.
10.Ray J: Made a sex tape with Kim Kardashian, released the sex tape and once everyone was clowning him because she's with Kanye (who is worth more money than him), he released a song I Hit It First. Burn.

So guys, tell us in the poll--who's your favorite celeb on this list?