Below are the NBA alter-egos for all of your favorite characters from The Office.
Erin Hannon - Milwaukee Bucks SF Tony Snell
It would be way to easy to start with Michael, so I figured I'd throw a curveball and kick off with The Office's second receptionist. Erin's biggest flaw is that she never really has any idea what's happening at any given moment.
Sometimes, I feel this way about Tony Snell on the basketball court. On the offensive end, Snell stands in the corner, hoping the ball doesn't find him. On defense, he shuffles around mindlessly, absolutely clueless of his assigned rotation. Snell is so unaware sometimes that he forgets to log any statistic at all.
Andy Bernard- New Orleans Pelicans C DeMarcus Cousins
"Jack, how does this make any sense?" you might ask. Well, think about it. Andy struggles with his temper (he once punched a hole in the wall), but his heart is almost always in the right place. He tried giving the 12 days of Christmas to Erin for Secret Santa - although it backfired, that was a genuinely thoughtful gesture.
Now, take Boogie. He never really worked out in Sacramento. He bickered with management and the coaching staff, and sometimes he let his anger get the best of him (see: technical foul totals).
But, if you ask the people from Sacramento about Cousins, they rave about all the work he did within the community, and most of his ex-teammates recall him as a lovable guy who just wanted to win so badly. Sounds like the Nard Dog to me.
Jim Halpert - Los Angeles Clippers PG Chris Paul
Jim is cunning. He's clever. He's smart. And, well, it took him a long time, with plenty of trial and error, to find the perfect situation with Pam.
CP3's basketball IQ is through the roof. He sees passes before they're even there.
While Jim frustrates Dwight by putting his desk items in jello or in the vending machine, CP3 aggravates defenders with his pick-n-roll probing and utilization of the yo-yo dribble. Jim pranks Dwight - CP3 clowns defenders. Jim eventually figured it out with Pam. Hopefully CP3 eventually culminates the comparison and finds his perfect combination of teammates someday.
Ryan Howard - Minnesota Timberwolves G Lance Stephenson
Both enjoyed rapid climbs to the top. Stephenson was a key cog on the Pacers team that played LeBron and the Heat tough in the 2014 Eastern Conference Finals. Ryan Howard upgraded from temp to CEO in about a hot second.
But, just as quickly, both enjoyed precipitous falls. Ryan committed fraud and ended up working at a bowling alley after his termination, and well, Stephenson is now struggling to even stick on an NBA roster.
Stanley Hudson - Sixers C Jahlil Okafor
Stanley shows very little interest in being in The Office. Okafor shows very little interest in being on a basketball court.
Angela Martin - Chicago Bulls PG Rajon Rondo
They're both small, annoying, petty people with whom no one ever wants to work. No one at Dunder Mifflin can even stand Angela and I'm fairly certain that the Chicago Bulls would have traded Rondo for a locker room beer pong table if offered before last week's trade deadline.
Pam Beasly (Halpert) - Cleveland Cavaliers PF Kevin Love
Love really wanted it to work in Minnesota. I mean, that's who drafted him. He loved putting up 20 pts/20 rebs games for the Wolves.
He was comfortable there, but sure enough, it grew tiresome waiting for management to reward him with more talent. So, he pushed Minnesota to deal him to Cleveland.
Love was definitely stepping out of his comfort zone, but deep down, he knew that with LeBron in Cleveland is where he'd find the most love and success. Although he was reluctant to accept the trade rumors at first, Love eventually came around and won a title in Northeast Ohio.
Damn, this sounds a lot like the Jim and Pam dynamic.
Phyllis Vance - New Orleans Pelicans C Omer Asik
Physically, they just look similar.
Meredith Palmer - Cavaliers SG JR Smith
Both are entirely too willing to take off their shirts.
Dwight Schrute - UCLA PG Lonzo Ball
Ok, so I cheated and dipped into the college ranks for one of these. Dwight is a really weird dude. But, for all his quirks, his salesmanship tactics frequently excel beyond all other Dunder Mifflin salesmen. It doesn't matter how he's getting the job done, it just matters that he's getting it done.
That's Lonzo. It doesn't really matter that Lonzo shoots across his body from his left shoulder. What does matter is that his shots go in, from just about anywhere.
Michael Scott -Oklahoma City Thunder PG Russell Westbrook
Michael's the boss. He's rather insensitive, tone-deaf, unaware and petty. But, when push comes to shove, Michael is a great employee who gets the job done. Frequently, Scranton's branch outperforms all others despite what seems to be lackluster leadership and effort.
That matches up perfectly with the Thunder point guard. Westbrook's insensitive pettiness has manifested itself throughout Durant's departure. He's entirely tone-deaf when he deals with the media. He doesn't really care what people think about him (see: pregame outfits).
But, he's loyal - Westbrook just signed a massive extension in Oklahoma City when he could have gone elsewhere. He loves his OKC family. Michael loves his Scranton family. Despite their glaring character flaws, both are valiant leaders of a seemingly misfit unit of workers.