Hitting the beach is a mandatory part of the summer. It doesn't matter if you're staying at a resort or if your budget has you limited to Ocean Shitty, because when it comes down to it, just lying in the sand and taking a dip is all you really need.
Once you're at the beach though, it seems like there's no limit to what can happen. There's the classic "my bikini top fell off" moment that almost everyone has gone through (right?) and for my fellow fair-skinned friends, that one blistering burn we'll never forget.
But, I asked my friends for their serious blunders at the beach... and these were some stories they were brave enough to share that no amount of aloe vera could relieve you from:
1. Burnt Bum
I can turn tan eventually, but I always need that "base burn," especially for those areas that never see the light of day. Tanning while on my stomach for a few hours, I woke up to find my ass absolutely lobstered with finger streaks from my half assed (literally) sunscreen job. I wouldn't let my bf touch me for a week.
2. Sandy Situation
I forgot to do a real shave before going out, so I quickly dry razored it before heading out in my bikini. I naturally swam around in the salt water... but days later I noticed a massive, painful red bump at my bikini line that grew into a cyst... I had no idea what it was - turns out, I had sand get inside an ingrown hair.
3. Puppy Probz
My family decided to take a vacation together to the beach, and we brought our brand new puppy, who was still going through the "chews everything in her path" phase. She got inside my bag when I was out and chewed out the crotch in my two way-overpriced bikinis. I was horrified.
4. Passed Out/Up Opportunities
Senior week I was hardcore trying - key word, TRYING - to flirt with my crush. To up my confidence, I drank far too much. Combination of dehydration and the heat, I both puked and passed out on the beach in front of everyone. He ended up getting with my friend instead that night.
5. Birthday Suit
I was renting a beach house with my friends and a group of guys were staying a few houses down from us. I started flirting with one guy in particular, and we went out one night, but the tide was strong. It ripped off my suit entirely, and I didn't know what to do, so I bolted to my house naked and couldn't bear to show my face again to him.
6. Can't Cover Up That Mark
While I was sleeping, my friends made a sunscreen penis on my face. I had to put on a shit ton of makeup on to show my face at work for a week straight.