For as much as I write about sex, you'd think that I would have covered this topic by now. Sometimes guys can be pretty clueless in general, but when it comes to what's going on with a woman's body, it's like they're trying to understand a foreign language.
So I'm here, not for the ladies, but for the dudes out there who need to get educated. It's time you understand what's actually going on with our lady parts, for our sake and yours.
1. Vaginas. Do. Not. Stretch.
I'm not exactly sure where this myth came from or how it's stuck around this long, but it is absolutely not true. Our vaginas are made to push human children out of them - your dick is nothing compared to that. Think of our vaginas as rubber bands: no matter how wide you stretch it, it's going to snap back to its original size. Same concept down under.
2. A UTI is not gross, it's a normal part of being a girl.
Basically a UTI happens when bacteria gets trapped in the urethra and bladder, and then multiplies in the urine. Not in the vagina, just to be clear. Avoid them by peeing after sex (and wiping front to back. Yes, I'm serious. And no, not everyone does that.) Oh, and dudes can get them, too.
And if you do happen to get a UTI? Don't freak out - just see a doctor to get antibiotics. And, while you wait for your doctor's appointment, try Cystex Urinary Pain Relief Tablets, which can help with the God-awful pain and burning caused by a UTI, and also contain an antibacterial to keep the infection from spreading while you wait.
3. Trying to put anything in a vagina when it's not wet is the worst.
Do. Not. Do it. I'm trying to think of what I could compare this to for a man to understand, but I honestly think this may be a feeling all its own. It burns and it's uncomfortable and there is no way we're going to ever actually get wet if that's all we're feeling. So either lube it up yourself, or focus on the foreplay before getting down to business.
4. Most of us can't get off just by vag stimulation.
Those of us who can are few and far between and so oh-so-blessed. While I don't know the actual reasoning behind this, because it still does feel amazing, I do know that it's not enough to get the job done. For a girl to orgasm, we need to get the whole body involved. Foreplay is key.
5. Our boobs get sore when it's that time of the month.
So for those of you who think keeping it above the waist is a reasonable request while we're on our periods, understand that even that sometimes, even this isn't a viable option, since during our periods our boobs can swell and ache.
6. Our boobs also have very few nerve endings.
While you may enjoy focusing on them during a hookup, for the most part, we aren't getting any physical pleasure out of it. Sure we love that you're so captivated by our bodies which is an important part of good sex, but it's not worth devoting your time to. You're getting more out of it than we are.
7. The clit is the Holy Grail.
This is the key to the mystery that is the female orgasm. If you want us to get off, focusing on this and knowing what to do with it is a must. I've honestly gotten off just by having a guy work it perfectly and I can't say the same of vaginal stimulation.
8. During "that time of the month" we are literally falling apart.
Literally. The insides of our uterus are falling off. Sorry for the TMI, but I'm hoping that knowing what's actually going on will help you cut us some slack when our periods are wreaking havoc. You try having your insides fall out 12 times a year. You'd be pretty pissed off, too.
9. Sometimes our vag has more of a smell than other times.
Let me first clarify that by smell, I don't mean an offensive odor. I mean that just like our breath and our natural aroma, our vaginas have their own smell, too, whether it's good or bad. While most of the time it's not noticeable, our diet, workout routine, and stress levels and affect it. I will say however that this shouldn't be anything you need to worry about unless you've got one near you in an...intimate way.
10. We do not control what comes out of our vaginas.
It's called discharge and it's not gross or weird or unnatural. The color, consistency, and odor can vary based off of different health factors and what part of our cycle we're in. So if you stumble upon already wet panties, don't get a head of yourself - you had nothing to do with it.